The Beauty Within
by His Singer1
Summary: "I notice her beauty, the good and bad. I see the scars and flaws. Can you get close to someone who doesn't trust men? Can I love her when she doesn't trust love?" How can she be sure his love is true? Beauty can be a curse sometimes.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer Owns Twilight and the Characters Names

I Own the Plot and the Characterizations; I also own this blue eyed and blonde hair Bella. These are my words and poetry unless I say otherwise .Please don't steal.

A/N So I got this idea from a poem I wrote. Enjoy

I Sit and watch her like I always do. Watch the way she walks, the way she talks I watch day in and day out I memorized the structure of her face the sound of her laugh I watch the way men seem taken with her oh yes I see the beauty I see it all but I also see the pain and sadness in her eyes the way she puts her needs last to please others. But I observe the crease in her forehead, the frown on her lips, the unshed tears in her eyes and I love her more and more. I love that she stumbles when she walks and stammers when she talks and the blush on her cheeks I love the curve of her back the scar under her eye I love that I see what others cannot find. But she doesn't notice me we've never met I just sit and watch content with the show maybe one day I will get the courage to introduce myself.

You may ask how can I love her if I don't know her, I know her enough I know her name is Bella I know she has blue eyes I know she has blond hair and it shines in the sun. I know she loves to read I know she's close with her dad and I know she didn't cry when her mom died I know the name of her best friend rose ( she's beautiful too) I know she's not happy with her life and I know someone hurt her .I know this all because I observe. You may ask well what makes me different from the other men that notices her I didn't see her beauty first I fell for her with the first smile by her actions I see her flaws because she shows them she is imperfectly perfect.

My name is James and I fell for a woman I don't know.

There was once a girl

She was beautiful

Inside and out

Eyes big and blue (like the water in Jamaica)

She was praised from near and afar

Fighting for her attention was hard but worth it

When she smiles, you stop and stare


	2. Memories

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer Owns Twilight and anything associated with it. I own the right to make the characters do and say anything I want and any lyrics or poem unless I say otherwise, lastly I own this sweet James.

JPOV

Everyone has this moment in their life where everything changed for better or for worse a moment that sticks with you forever; my moment was when I first saw Bella while everyone else looked in her eyes and saw beauty I looked in her eyes and saw her soul and it touched me deeply I don't know why it just did and after that I wanted to know her more she was an interesting person, she was that girl the social butterfly the girl every man wanted every woman hated and wanted to be, always the center of attention and I could see she didn't enjoy it. I know that's not the kind of girl she is, I know because I dated someone like that ; I chased after her for so long and when I got her it was like an accomplishment ,because I had the girl everyone wanted it made me important just like with everyone in high school get the popular girl and you instantly become popular by association that was the first reason why I wanted her it was all for convenience for both of us until I really fell for her and that's when the problems started. I wanted the kind of relationship my parents had I wanted that heart stopping, knee's going weak, butterflies in your stomach evoking love wanted to feel something needed to feel something. I started to view things differently our relationship, high school and life in general. I think she tried to love me back but it wasn't enough, her consistency to be perfect pulled me away and we grew apart and when I think of Bella I don't see her in that category.

They never saw the broken girl

Never saw the flaws

They would never know

Beauty is skin deep

On my way to work I pass by her job as I do every morning I don't know if this is called stalking but seeing her is the best part of my day apart from my job I love my job I'm a photographer but I don't work for anyone, I have my own business it started out as a hobby to capture a moment in one picture telling a story through the lens I loved it. I was on my way to a wedding I loved this part witnessing special moments capturing it and sharing it with the world and it got me thinking about my sister Alice wedding that was the happiest I ever saw her, remembering makes me miss her I haven't spoken to or seen her in a while she lives with her husband jasper in Philadelphia we just lost touch we used to be close family was important to me and she was the only family I had left our parents died in a car crash 3 years ago in many ways that should bring us closer but since then we pulled apart. As I'm at the wedding taking pictures I'm still reminiscing, seeing my sister in her white dress, the look on jaspers face and it's all too much I feel like I could cry, I leave early thanking the couple and promising to send the pictures I'm outside taking deep breaths the last time I cried was the day my parents died and I'm back in time on that day; June 15, 2000. The sight of the crushed car the smell of blood, their mangled bodies and the tears start to flow; a couple of men walk by and give me strange looks but I don't care I think crying is good showing emotions makes you a man.

When I get home I call Alice it feels good to hear her voice

"James?" Alice says surprised

"Yes I know it's out of the blue but I had to call you and let you know I love you and miss you" I say

"I missed you too big brother" she says laughing and crying "I'm glad you called, me and jas was just saying we need to visit" I smile

"I would love that, when are you coming down?"

"Soon, when jasper gets time off work"

"Good, how are you Alice?"

"I'm excellent, how about you?"

"I'm hanging in there" we talk some more catching up and no sooner we are laughing and joking I missed that familiarity

"What's new with you, how is your job going?" Alice asks

"Nothing really, business is blooming" I reply

"Good so anything interesting I should know?" she asks

I laugh "I wish"

"No girlfriend?" she pries

I sigh "unfortunately no"

" you haven't met anyone?" that pulls me up short because I met someone but not in that way she doesn't know I exist " I wish you'd meet someone, I hate seeing you alone" she says sighing " me too Alice" I say

"Well I'm going to cook dinner, I'll talk to you another time" Alice says

"Okay, I'll call you then" "it was good hearing your voice"

"Aww you too big brother I love you" she says

"I love you more shortcake" I smile. She laughs at the use of her nickname and hangs up

I sigh now I'm alone more than ever.

So there you have it, some insight into James background and life. Next Chapter is Bella.

I Will (try to) update everyday if not then every other day.

P.S Thanks To everyone who put me on alerts and reviews. I appreciate each one; if you have me on alert please review let me know you are reading, loving or not loving this story


	3. Broken

As you know Twilight is copyrighted by SM I wish I owned a series, but gladly I take credit for (hopefully) making it better

Bella

I was running late for the first time ever I was always early but thanks to my broken alarm clock and one bad dream I was officially late to work I hoped rose opened the store she texted me earlier worried so now I'm rushing throwing anything on I hoped I had time for a coffee run. I Live about 5-10 minutes away from my job so it shouldn't be too hard, as I am walking quickly I think about all the things I have to do I have 2 clients waiting and 2 more on the list; I was my own boss if you called what I do a job mainly it was a hobby I started out writing poetry for fun and people liked it so much I published a lot of my work I went for high demand writing for other people until rose said I should make them pay and that started the beginnings of my job, years later I did more than write poetry I was asked to write wedding vows and song lyrics I was doing it from home but I wanted to expand share my talents with people and so we come full circle, I was so into my head I didn't watch where I was going and bumped into someone, I bounced off their chest but before I could fall two strong arms caught me

"I'm sorry are you okay?" the person said. I looked up into their face; it was a man, with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen they were like honey with little hazel specks I finally spoke

"Oh I'm so sorry I wasn't looking" I apologized. He let me go I hadn't realized he still had his arms around me he smiled

"It's okay, are you sure you're fine?" he asked

"Yes that tends to happen"

"I see well I'll be going," he said and left. After that incident I got my coffee and I was on my way, when I got to work rose had everything under control

"Thank you so much rose' I said and hugged her

"No problem b is you okay?" she asked probing me with her amber eyes

"I'm fine just a little ruffled"

"Okay, well your clients are waiting in your office; I'll be out here if you need me"

I nodded rose was the best secretary there was but most importantly she was my best friend first.

Work today was slow after my clients left I waited around but no one came so me and rose sat around chatting at 12:00 we decide to pack up and leave just as we were getting ready emmet roses boyfriend came to take her to lunch I smiled when I saw him he always had the ability to make me smile

"Dude" I said

"Dudette" he answered and we hugged

"We were just about to leave, so you and rose can go and I'll lock up"

"You sure b?" rose asked

"Yes I'll be fine" she hugged me and told me to call her when I get home and locked arms with Emmet and they were gone. I smiled they were so good together. I closed without any problems and was on my way home when I felt someone watching me, I turned around but saw no one so I kept walking when I felt eyes on me again but this time it made me feel un easy I turned around again and nearly screamed I could've swore I saw my ex-boyfriend David standing across the street watching me but he couldn't he was in jail far away and I tried to calm my beating heart I nearly ran to get home. When I got in I regretted coming home alone because the memories came back full force

_Bella was home waiting for her boyfriend he said he had a surprise for her, she just wanted to get this over with their relationship had been strained ever since he saw her talking to another man he was the jealous type but lately it gotten out of control he wouldn't trust her near any guy and he screened her calls, giving her a curfew she put up with it because she loved him or she thought she did but then he started stalking her watching her every move and she couldn't do it anymore this wasn't love it was borderline crazy, and she wanted out but she would have to do it gently._

_Two years later_

_She was trying to climb out the window but she had to hurry before he caught her, she had one leg up on the windowsill when a booming voice startled her_

"_where do you think you're going!' and she lost her footing she turned towards him_

"_I'm leaving "she said he shook his head_

"_You can't leave me, I won't let you"_

"_You have to let me go David"_

"_No, I can't" and he started towards her she scrambled up on the ledge and tried to open the window_

"_I said you can't leave me I love you" she shook her head_

"_You're crazy if you love me let me go"_

"_I'm just crazy for you" he said and grabbed her leg and starts to pull her off_

"_No, please!" she pleaded. He pulled again and she fell down_

"_Please let me go" she said tearfully he made a grab for her and she pushed him back he stumbled and she tries to go around him but he pulls her back by the waist_

"_You've been very bad, I must punish you now" he said she struggles_

"_No please! I'm sorry"_

"_But you tried to leave me" he says and takes her in the bedroom, he throws her on the bed and ties her hands and feet with the rope hanging on the bed and then he blindfolds her_

"_David please" she says again but he just gags her, she hears him moving around and then he pulls down her skirt she struggles fruitlessly since she's bound her heart is racing and she braces herself for what's about to happen next she feels her panties come off next and then a sharp blow between her legs she cries out wordlessly and he does it over and over she's crying and begging him to stop and the next thing she knows he is over her_

'' _I love you" he says and impales her without warning she cries out, he is relentless in his movements__ each thrust sharp and rough this is not for pleasure its punishment, he holds onto the headboard and pounds into her without mercy she's not enjoying this but her body betrays her and she comes anyway. His release is not far away he goes faster and then spills his seed into her; after he's done he unties her and releases her eyes and mouth, he kisses her and says I love you I'm sorry but you tried to leave me over and over, he goes to clean up and she curls into a ball on the bed feeling dirty and contaminated her body aches all over and she sobs wordlessly_

As the memories wash over her she falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, a loud knock startles her and she's brought back in time

"Go away David or I'll call the police!" she yells between sobs

"Bella?" rose calls Bella are you okay!

"rose " she says Bella open the door she says banging again, she gets up off the floor and opens the door, rose looks at her concerned

"Bella are you okay what's wrong!"

"I thought you were David" she says and then cries louder. Rose comes in and shuts the door she pulls Bella to her and they sit on the couch, she holds her

"Bella baby tell me what happened". She sniffles

"I thought… I saw... david" she gets out

"But Bella he's in jail"

"I know but still I thought it was him and I had those flash backs again and then you knocked on the... she trails off crying harder

"Oh Bella its ok you're safe" she croons "you're safe it was just a trigger". She looks at rose tears streaming down her face " what if it was him, what if he really came back for me" roses eyes harden " then I'll kill him before he even comes near you" she says calmly she hugs her tightly

"Oh rose, I'm glad you're here"

"Me too b me too"


	4. New Beginnings

Twilight is the property of SM along with the characters. The characterization and plot belongs to me

JPOV

Ever since yesterday when he bumped into Bella he was on a high even if she didn't know who he was, just a glimpse of her up close was enough. Work was going well, as well as wedding portraits he got some side jobs and he went on a nature hike; the pictures he had was amazing. Every day he went home to an empty house even though he still called Alice everyday it was still lonely so Alice suggested he start going on dates get a dating profile, all that sounded good but he didn't want to go through all that trouble to find someone that wasn't Bella he wished he could talk to her but didn't know how to approach her. He would have to get to know her more but how? He needed a plan

Bella

Ever since that episode she had rose thought it best for her to work from home or take a break, go on vacation but she couldn't leave her job it was what she lived for what kept her sane. Emmet said she needed to go out like on a date but she didn't like it, after what happened to her she didn't nessecarily trust men that much just her dad and emmet she wouldn't go through all that pain again,the reminder of it made her stronger in a way she didn't need a man to live her life but emmet insisted

"come on bella not all men are like that" emmet said. She shook her head

"how do you know? I really don't want to find out"

" it wont hurt you to try" she stared at him hard

" you know what I mean, just go on one date and see"

" I cant take that risk again emmet" she said. " I promised myself that"

" life is about taking risk, you need it"

" he's right b" rose said. Bella looked at her in disbelief

" I know bella and I wish I can take away the pain and erase your past but that's just it, I cant and it's the present now time to start living it" she walked over to her " b just think about it please, you don't have to go out and find a boyfriend just befriend a man atleast you cant be afraid all your life"

" Ok I'll think about it" . truthfully she was scared it was a long way from her comfort zone, she always shyed away from being near any men with the exception of close friends and relatives and they weren't many, se would go out her way to walk past any she saw outside or even at work she always had to have somebody with her she never got that close with a stranger except she thinks the other day when she bumped into the man with the honey eyes usually being that close triggers memories and she goes into panic mode but strangely she didn't mind it. That was just one of the reason she didn't date and the other was she couldn't find anyone that would want her for anything other than her looks it was all about looks and come to think of it it was a factor in her past relationship with david he said she was beautiful but she didn't feel like it and he never treated her like she was to her beauty was a curse.

But the truth was her soul was bare

Battered and bruised emotionally

And on the inside everything died

And if you would look inside her eyes

You would see the pain and sadness reflected

But they always looked past it

Focusing on her looks

They way her body looked

Bella

The past days are filled up with work shes been getting more clients lately and working harder than before rose suggests she take a break and it comes in the form of an wedding invitation.

"who is it from?" rose asks

" Jessica and tyler". Rose looks confused

"" I say

" Oh her" she says " didn't like her much"

" you don't even know her" I laugh

" but I can tell she seems conceited" she says

" and you don't act that way"

" but I have a reason" she says flippantly.

" I don't know if I should go"

" why not bella" rose says

" well, for one it will be a lot of men there and I don't know if I can deal" rose sighs

" bella we talked about this, anyway just go and after you can leave it would be rude to not go"

" fine but you're going with me"

" Nope You're doing this on your own"

The thought is scary being alone around strange men but she's right I have to try, I guess this is a new beginning for me.


	5. Change

**SM Owns These Characters I'm Just Mixing Them Up. No Harm Intended**

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><p>JPOV<p>

Today is the day, I know it. I don't know how but I feel as if something will happen. It won't be big or life changing but it will change things for me. I just hope it's good. It's a work day, just another wedding. I really did not want to take this one but I was recommended and it's a good pay. Weddings always make me sentimental and remind me about what I could have and what I don't have, but this is part of my job, part of my passion, and I'll gladly make sacrifices for it. As I'm on the way out the door, the phone rings. No one ever calls so I'm guessing it's Alice.

"Hey, shortcake," I answer.

"Good morning, big brother," she chirps.

"Morning. I'm on my way out the door," I say.

"Oh this will be quick, just wanted to let you know me and Jas will be driving down this weekend!" she says excitedly. And my day just got better.

"That's good, what time?"

"8:30," she says. "Is that too early?"

"Its fine, but Alice I really have to go, I'll call you later?"

"Bye."

"Bye."

I walk quickly out the door. I'm taking my car today, the wedding is in the city. I get in the car and fish out the directions to the church and I'm on my way.

BPOV

I'm early for the wedding. I go and see Jessica, she's with her family and friends. She's glowing and talking a mile a minute. She hugs me when she sees me.

"Belle! I'm glad you could make it," she says.

"I'm glad you invited me," I say honestly.

"Oh it was the least we could do," she smiles. She turns to her family and friends.

"This is Bella."

Her mom comes forward. "Oh it's nice to meet you. I read the vows. You are amazing," she gushes.

"Thank you. It's good to hear that."

And then it's time for Jessica to get ready so I leave and explore. It's an old Victorian building. There are so many paintings. I walk back to the main building. I see it's starting to fill up so I find somewhere to sit. People stare at me, probably wondering who the heck I am and why I'm here, but the men smile at me and it makes me uneasy. I look up the front of the church and see the pastor and the groom. Tyler looks happy. He didn't seem nervous. I wonder how can they be so sure of their love. Love is foreign to me.

I'm so absorbed in my thoughts I don't notice someone sit next to me. I turn around and instantly stiffen. It's one of the men who smiled at me and he's sitting so close to me. I move over some but he just scoots closer. I'm sure he can see my face, see that I'm uncomfortable, but he's oblivious and my breathing starts to pick up. I'm sure I'm about to have a panic attack. He looks at me strangely and moves away from me. I breathe a sigh of relief and calm myself down. Then the music starts. We all turn to watch the procession: first the flower girl and ring bearer, and then the best man, bridesmaids, and maid of honor, and then the music changes and here comes the bride. We all stand as she makes her way down the aisle. She reaches Tyler and he takes her hand. Everything after that is a blur. I'm lost in my world, thinking that can be me one day, _can I have that?_ _Can I trust anyone to have it with?_ And I'm back down memory lane…

_Bella's waiting for David to come home, anxious for his surprise and wondering how she is going to break it to him gently._

_The door opens and in he comes, smiling and happy to see her._

"_Baby, I have something to ask you;" he says._

"_Can it wait? I have something to say," she says._

"_But this is important," he says impatiently._

"_So is..." she starts to say._

"_Baby, please, close your eyes," he says. She looks at him unsure._

"_Trust me," he says and she really wants to trust him so she closes her eyes. She hears movement. "Open them," he whispers._

_She opens them to see David kneeling on one knee with a ring in his hand. She's rooted in place. This was not supposed to happen. How is she going to break it to him now?_

"_David," she says._

"_Shh and just say yes," he says without an attempt at a real proposal._

_She swallows. "I can't accept this," she says._

"_What do you mean?" he asks._

"_I can't accept this because I can't accept us, I'm sorry. I was going to do this in a better way but this changes thing."_

_He stands quickly. "Changes what, Bella?"_

"_I don't think I can do this anymore," she whispers. "I can't stay in this relationship when I don't love you."_

_He shakes his head. "But you do love me," he says._

"_I don't."_

"_You do! And I love you!" he shouts. "We belong together."_

"_I'm sorry, David, but we don't," she begins to walk to the door._

"_Where are you going?" he demands._

"_I'll stay at my dad's tonight and I'll have someone pick up my stuff."_

_He walks over to her. "You can't leave, Bella."_

"_David, I'm sorry but I have to."_

"_No you don't understand, you can't leave because I won't let you," he says and moves to stand in front of the door._

"_Come on, David," she says and tries to move him out of the way._

_He grabs her arm and looks her in the eyes. "You will never leave me, Bella," he says. She tries to break his grip but he increases pressure on her arm._

"_David, you're hurting me, let go."_

"_Only if you promise to never leave."_

"_I can't promise that."_

"_But you can't leave."_

"_You can't make me stay, David. Please let go."_

_And everything happens quickly. He raises his hand and his fist comes in contact with her face and then there's darkness._

I come out of my reverie and see that the wedding is over. Everyone is moving into the next room for the reception. I need to get out of here. I'm so intent on leaving that I bump into someone. I look up and come in contact with a pair of honey hazel eyes. The man smiles.

"We have to stop meeting like this."

"Oh I'm so sorry," I apologize, still staring at his eyes.

"No need. I was just thinking about you the other day," he says.

I come out of my trance. "You were?" I ask.

"Yes," he says.

In my mind, I remember I thought about him too but I don't tell him. I hardly know him.

"I'm sorry if this seems too forward but I can't stop thinking about you. I want to see you more, know you more. Will you go on a date with me?"


	6. Phone Call

I Stand there after those words were spoken, usually when this happens i panic and if i can calm down long enough before i freak them out i politely decline, but with this man; the man with the honey/hazel eyes i don't feel the need to panic, maybe because for the first time he didn't compliment me tell me I'm beautiful, i hate that. But he said he wants to know me more, I'm thinking that could be a good thing but should i trust him, i hardly know his name. I look at him

"I'm sorry i didn't get your name" i say politely. He chuckles

"It's James, so is that a yes or no?" he asks

"Honestly, i don't know, usually i would turn you down because i don't trust men at all". He looks shocked and hurt at my admission

"But i promised i would try" i say. He looks happy

"So i guess I'm saying yes, but i don't count this as a date, just two strangers getting to know each other, no kissing, and no touching at all" i say

"that's fine with me, I'm just happy you said yes" " i have to go back to work now but here's my business card, you can reach me here we can talk details then" he hands me his card and i see that he is a photographer

"Well it was nice meeting you..."

"Bella my name is Bella" i say

"It was nice meeting you AGAIN Bella"

"It was nice bumping into you again" i say.

When i leave i think about what just happened, and then i start to panic, i have a date! an actual date but i don't know why I'm panicking, i said yes ,why did i say yes ?,i never say yes ,this is a first.

I walk away from Bella happier than ever, I don't know what came over me I just had to ask her out and hanging out with her on a non-date was fine with me.

I came home from the wedding late and go straight to bed, my dreams are filled with blue eyes and blonde hair, the next day is a work day but I spend all day thinking about Bella and wondering when she's going to call me or if she will call at all I walk by her job but its closed nothing unusual I'll give her two days then I'm going back again and seeing for myself. I distract myself with the prospect of Alice coming on and a new project but that doesn't stop me from sitting by the phone waiting on a call I don't think will come. Friday still no call but I have other things to worry about; Alice is coming down tomorrow and I'm excited I haven't seen her for 3 years I'm cleaning the house when the phone rings, I stop what I'm doing my heart is pounding I rush the phone eager to hear her voice

"Hello" I say. Silence and then I hear the voice of a person I haven't seen or spoken to since high school

"Yes, is this James?" the sultry voice asks

"Yes, may I ask whose calling? I say even though I have inkling

"James! It's Tanya"


	7. Chapter 7

**Characters Are Not Mine**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

**I never told rose about what happened at the wedding because I was still processing it myself but as usual she could tell when something was bothering me. I don't know why I mean I agreed to go but now I was having doubts about it, my conscious was telling me to be careful and my head was telling me to take a risk and my heart was telling me it wasn't ready for any extra baggage.**

"**Bella" rose called**

**I was still thinking over my problem.**

"**Bella!"**

"**Oh, sorry"**

"**What on that mind of yours?"**

**Well here goes nothing**

"**You remember the wedding I went to?"**

"**Yes, what about it"**

"**Well I met someone"**

"**What, really!"**

"**Not exactly, I met him before when I bumped into him outside "**

"**Aww it's like fate"**

"**Get real rose, anyway he asked me out…"**

"**Bella Swan, You have a date?"**

"**No, yes, no" I struggled**

"**Sweetie you remember that talk we had" rose began**

"**I know I know, that's why I told him yes!"**

**She smiled "I'm proud of you"**

"**let me finish, I told him yes but it won't be as a date, as friends getting to know each other and now I'm not so sure anymore" I finished lamely**

"**What aren't you sure about?"**

"**Everything!" I said exasperated**

"**it's been three years Bella and you should be over it by now, I know your past will come to haunt you sometimes but only if you let it! But if you're not sure then I guess you're not ready and I won't push you" she turned away**

**I sighed "I'm sorry rose..." I begin**

**She cut me off "don't apologize, Bella you should do this for you, so you can move on, not because me and Emmett said so, I'm sorry if I put pressure on you"**

**That was the last time we talked about it but on Friday she brought it up**

"**Just out of curiosity, what's he like?"**

"**He's nice" I said stalling**

"**Bella details, is he ugly or hot tall or short..." she pressed**

"**His name is James he's tall and handsome and he has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen and he seems nice"**

"**What color are they?"**

"**They are like honey with little specks of hazel"**

"**Definitely pretty"**

"**Do you want to come with me and Emmett?" she asked**

"**To where"**

"**It's Friday, were going out dinner and club"**

"**Oh sounds nice but it's okay, I don't want to be the third wheel"**

**She smiled "you wouldn't have to be a third wheel if you had a date" she quipped**

"**Ha"**

"**Bye Bella"**

"**Have fun"**

**The conversation came to me again while I was home, when was the last time I went out? Or had fun and I said it didn't have to be a date, it could be with friends getting to know each other and with that thought I grabbed his card and went to make a call.**

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><p><strong>This is split into two parts, you want the next one, all you have to do is review<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Stephenie Meyer Takes Credit For Twilight And The Characters.

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><p><strong>JPOV<strong>

**It was quiet for a while. I thought I would never hear this voice again.**

"**Hello?" she asked**

**How did she get my number!**

"**How did you get my number?" I asked**

"**Does it matter" she laughed**

"**Yes it does" I said my voice hard**

"**Your sister gave it to me"**

"**What"**

"**I know, I ran into her and we got to talking "**

"**How did you run into Alice?"**

"**Oh I live in Philadelphia, new job and all that but how are you"**

"**I'm fine"**

"**Good to hear, I heard you have your own company"**

"**Yes, not to be rude Tanya but what do you want?"**

"**And yet you sound rude. I can't call an old friend?"**

"**You never did anything unless you wanted something" I said**

"**Well if you must know, I called to see if you wanted to hang out sometime"**

"**I'm pretty busy these days"**

**She sighed "well whenever you are not busy, I missed you"**

"**Tanya, I'm sorry if you called with the intention of getting back together, then you're out of luck. I haven't missed you since high school"**

"**I know you're not dating so what's up"**

"**Nothing you should be concerned with, I have to go I'm waiting on a call" I said ready to hang up**

"**Okay I can take a hint, Alice has my number. I look forward to hearing from you" she said in what she hoped was a sexy voice**

"**Bye Tanya"**

**As soon as I hung up, ready to call Alice and ask why she gave out my number, my cell phone rung**

**It was probably someone calling for work.**

"**Hello"**

**There was a pause and then**

"**James? This is Bella"**

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><p>So i saw i got some new story alerts and i was happy and then i saw i had no reviews.<p>

I'm Not going to tell you, you should review it just would be nice to atleast get one

I'm Thinking This Story Will Go On Haitus, I Lost My Motive To Write It.

Meanwhile I'm working on two new stories

P.S I Wouldnt Expect An Update For A While. You Tell me..Are You Reading This? Do You Enjoy it.

I Hope To get Back writing this soon.


	9. Chapter 9

**Twilight is stephenie meyers so is edward and bella. but i own james and bella.. the plot and this story**

**As promised here you go. Shout out to 0ctober25- you have been so good to me. Shout out to Sgh45( i hope i spelled it right) You reviewd every chapter and made my day. This is for you.**

**P.S I Hope i'm not being a nag about reviews but if you are reading its nice to hear feedback**

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><p>JPOV<p>

I have a date. An official date. Official date with _Bella._ Who knew just saying that out loud would give me so much pleasure? Today my little sister Alice and her husband jasper are coming down for a visit but not even that can quell my excitement. I go through my client book booking dates and job while I wait and all too soon I hear a car pull up outside, I go outside to see a green jeep parked on the curb and I hear a squeal turning around to see a rush of hair, arms and legs and then I'm hit with a forceful hug.

"Big Brother it's been so long" Alice says squeezing the life out of me

"Yes but please let go before you kill me" I get out

She lets me go and beams up at me "you have gotten taller and more handsome" she says

I chuckle "and you are still short"

She rolls her eyes. I get a good look at her, she comes to my waist but she's wearing heels and a black sun dress. "I keep telling you Allie the heels won't help you" I tease

"Whatever Jamie" she says

I ruffle her hair and notice the length "your hair is long!"

"I know, I let it grow!" she says spinning in a circle

I laugh and then a throat clears, we both turn to see her husband jasper

"Jasper meets James, James meet jasper the love of my life"

He's tall almost tall as me with blonde hair and a rugged look about him. I shake his hand

"Nice to meet you, come on in" I say and hold the door open

"James it's so bland in here" Alice says

"I like it that way"

"Maybe I can spice the place up" she says hopefully

"No allie"

She pouts but I'm immune to it now.

~TBW~

We have a nice discussion about our lives and how it's been. Alice is in fashion design and jasper travels around the world on expeditions. I ask how that working out in their marriage is; Alice joins him on his trips and gets inspiration for her line. They seem happy and I'm grateful that Alice found someone I know she was sad and lonely when I left. We decide to go the movies and after we can grab dinner, I sit with Alice and endure a romantic comedy, its so cliché how many movies are made like this? I'm glad when we leave I steer them to Capone's the best in Norristown, we order sandwiches and a sit down entrée and while we are waiting Alice asks the question

"So have you gone on a date yet?" she asks me

Not yet but I will soon, I don't tell Alice because I want to see how it goes

"Not yet I'm working on it"

"I could fix you up, I have a friend you would really like" jasper says

"Thanks but I'm fine"

"James you can't be alone all your life. I hate the thought of it" Alice says

"I'm not alone; I have you and let's not talk about this now. I want to enjoy the time with my sister" I say

After we eat I take them late night dancing and they really enjoy it, a lot of ladies keep coming up to me and asking to dance but I turn them down until Alice practically drags one over to me and demand I dance with her. Her name is Kate a willowy brunette and she's alright we dance most of the night

"So what do you do for a living?" she says with a strong Italian accent

"Photography and you?"

"I'm a teacher at Norristown high" she says

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Yes so much, it's like when I teach them something and the light comes on and they get it, it makes me happy" she says passionately

I enjoy the rest of the evening talking to her and when it's over she gives me her number, I don't want to be rude so I tell her I will call her. Alice is so happy she is practically dancing but I don't tell her I'm interested. When we get home Alice follows me to my bedroom

"You're not sleeping with me it's too weird" I chide Alice

"Very funny, I wanted to ask you did Tanya call you."

I turn towards her "Yes she did, why did you give her my number?"

"She asked for it and I thought you two should catch up"

"We have no catching up to do"

"Honestly you were a good match and I know she misses you"

"I don't miss her"

"I was rooting for you all along and I think Tanya has changed"

"That's good for her"

"James!" Alice says exasperated

"Yes Alice what do you want me to say"

"That you miss her too I know you do, you loved her! That just doesn't go away"

"I loved her in high school Alice, of course that goes away"

"If that's what you think. The reason why you're alone is because you still love her and you will never find a girl like her"

"Alice listens to yourself, in life you fall out of love and I did"

"You will see in time" she says cryptically

~TBW~

When I woke up the next morning Alice had breakfast made and our whole day planned out.

'Where is jasper?"

"Visiting friends in town, it's just you and me" she says happily.

Our day consists of taking Alice shopping and her asking me opinions on fashion as always, we also see a theater production of our town. Just enjoying being together before she leaves.

"You should come to Philly" Alice says

"I will"

"Promise?"

"Yes"

For dinner I make an Italian feast; chicken Alfredo, fettuccini, homemade bread sticks and cannoli's made from scratch. She tells me she misses me cooking for her and that maybe we should live together, I turn her down that would be too much to handle. Jasper comes home and gobbles up everything and after dinner I and he play some ball.

"She talks about you all the time" he says

"Really"

"Yes you would think you two are married"

"We have always been close, I know me leaving her and not calling hit her hard"

"Yeah why didn't you? You really hurt her"

'I don't know I had to get away from everything and start fresh. So many bad memories"

"Well don't hurt her again just because I like you doesn't mean I won't kill you if I have to"

"Whatever you say. I know you won't hurt her" I add as a warning

We wind down for the night and I'm sad at the aspect of Alice leaving again.

"Next time you need to stay longer" I say

"Oh I can stay longer if you need me to, it's just that jasper has to work and he wanted me to go with him"

"No you go ahead"

"no I can stay I can't leave you alone again even if you can leave me' she says

I know she didn't mean it but it hurt nothing the less. I wasn't thinking about Alice when I left home I was worrying about me and it was selfish, I was the last thing left in her life and I abandoned her when she needed me the most.

"Alice I promise I will make it up to you" I say pained

"No I didn't mean it like that James"

"Don't apologize you are right"

"I have nightmares about it all the time" she whispers

"About what?"

'About you dying and leaving me alone or just leaving me period" she says

I turn to her and see the tears on her face. I hold her close

"Allie I promise I will never leave again. You don't know how sorry I am"

"Do you swear?" she says looking up at me with those big innocent eyes.

They were always my undoing when we were little.

"I swear on my life"

She snuggles up to me "I love you Jamie bear"

I laugh "I love you more shortcake"

All too soon is time for them to hit the road. I can see Alice already having indecisions about leaving I have to reassure her a few times that I will be all right and I will call and email her every day and that a visit is coming soon. She clings to me as we watch jasper load the bags in the jeep, I have to unpeel her from me and then we hear a crash so loud it makes us all jump. A car ran into a pole and it brings back memories of a car crash that rendered me parentless and I'm shaking and then Alice starts shaking and crying telling me not to leave her. I pick her up and sit in the car with her until she calms down and I calmly tell her that I wish she could stay but jasper needs her but I promise to come visit next week.

I get out the car and walk to jasper, he looks pained and sad

"Does that happen often?" I ask him

"It used to and I was scared man I didn't know what to do, I did what I could you know and then it got worse so I suggested she talk to someone"

"Did that help?"

"Somewhat she's getting better but tonight was the first time that happened in a while and that was the worse I have seen"

I Promise to call them tomorrow and have jasper call me when they get in, Alice waves at me sadly as they pull away and I get a sunken feeling in my stomach.

~TBW~

**HAVE YOU HAD EXPIERENCE WITH A CAR CRASH OR LOSING PARENTS? TELL ME YOUR STORY**

**UPDATE- NOT SURE BUT YOU TELL ME**


	10. Chapter 10

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

I WAS **IN A 4-5 CAR ACCIDENT. I WASNT HURT THOUGH BUT OTHER PEOPLE WAS. IT WAS SCARY, THE COPS WERE CHASING THESE TWO FUGITIVES AND THEY HIT A CAR WHICH CAUSED CHAIN REACTION. BEST PART WAS WHEN ONE FUGITIVE RAN AWAY AND MY DAD CHASED HIM AND BEAT HIM UP. OK ON TO THE STORY**

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><p>I Bella swan have a date. A DATE!<p>

I plucked up my courage and made the call and I'm glad I did. I feel excited I never went on a date not even with David we just fell into step with our relationship. I think rose is more excited than me when I told her she was so happy and told me she was proud. I was proud of myself also, we set a date for Monday and we would meet at the park. Emmett was proud of me also but he wanted to go along with me and make sure nothing happened, I loved him for that but I needed to do this alone. I was so distracted at work I kept getting clients mixed up and rose had to take over and told me to go home and focus on tonight, I went home and took a shower and gave myself a manicure and pedicure .I watched TV to past time but it didn't help.

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When it was 7:30 I started to get ready. I straightened my hair and set it with a headband next I looked through my clothes and settled on a yellow cotton dress and a black shrug, I decided to wear sandals instead of heels and at 7:50 I was done. Rose sent me a text

Rose- good luck and call me later. P.s if you need anything text me.

I smiled at the concept and started out the door, the walk to the park was filled with me being nervous and giddy at the same time. I walked up the steps of the park and took a deep breath, looking towards the bench we said we would meet at me saw him. I watched the way the wind ruffled his hair and the sun intensified the color of his eyes. I started toward him and he looked up at the sound of my foot steps and smiled. His smile eased the nerves and I smiled back.

"You look pretty" he commented.

I smiled again and was relived, if he said beautiful I would end this date quick.

"You look nice too" I replied.

He was wearing a brown polo shirt and tan khakis, the brown made the hazel tint in his eyes stand out.

"Thanks, I thought we would take a walk first and get to know each other and eat later" he said.

I nodded and we began.

**~TBW~**

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><p><strong>I SPLIT THIS CHAPTER UP.<strong>

**AFTER THIS CHAPTER I WILL MOVE AHEAD IN TIME**

**UPDATE-TONIGHT AND TOMORROW**


	11. Chapter 11

**~TBW~**

He asked me what I did for a living and he asked why it did. The questions were easy enough; my fave color and flower, fave movie and book, where did I grow up. He told me photography was a hobby he loved and he loves getting paid to do it. He has one sister who's married. He told me his parents died in a car crash and I was sad for him, he was alone with his sister living far away. My mom died 2 years ago but I can't remember her much, I'm close with my dad but I haven't spoken to him in a few months, I plan to call him when I get home. He takes me to a bar and grill where he orders baby back ribs and fries, I order a grilled chicken sandwich and fries. While we wait we talk some more.

"So how do you like this date so far?" he asks.

"I'm glad I came" I reply honestly.

"So is it the best date you ever had?" he asks teasingly.

"It's the only date I ever had"

"Really? You never had a boyfriend?"

"I did but we never went on dates"

He's about to ask why when I change the subject, this topic is one I avoid.

"How about you?" I ask.

"I had one serious girlfriend in high school since then I never dated" he replies easily

The food comes and we eat in silence, he pays the bill and we're on our way home. He walks me to my door

"I'm glad I came, I wasn't sure at first because after my boyfriend I have trust issues with men but I trust you" I told him.

"Thank you for trusting me, I would like to see you again if you will let me" he replies.

I smile "I'll let you know. Goodnight James"

"Goodnight Bella"

I walk into my house calm and happy, it wasn't that bad and I just might take him up on a second date. I see I have a message waiting on voicemail and I click the button and listen to my world falling apart. I replay the message over and over just to make sure and I call the number back.

"Hello is this sue Clearwater?" I ask

"Whose calling?" the woman asks.

"Bella swan" I answer

"Oh Bella!" the woman cries and starts to sob.

"Please just answer my question, is my father dead?" I state calmly.

"Yes" she whispers

"How do you know him?" I ask

"Oh Bella me and your father were dating and he was just about to propose when this happens" she sniffs

"Oh, thank you for telling me" I say

"I was lucky he had your number. Are you flying out today or tomorrow?" she asks

"What do you mean?"

'I can book a flight for you and you can be here for the funeral. It's Wednesday" she says

I squeeze my eyes shut at the word funeral "that won't be needed. I'm not coming to the funeral" I state

"Charlie told me he had to force you to attend your mother's funeral but this is your father Bella"

"I know but I can't come"

"I know this is hard for you and you don't like to show emotions I understand but"

I cut her off "you understand nothing I said I'm not going!" I shout into the phone and hang up.

It rings and rings but I don't answer, I text rose the news

Bella-Charlie is dead

Rose- Oh my god Bella is you alright!

Bella- I'm fine

Rose- how did it happen?

Bella-heart attack

Rose- so sorry babe, want me to come over?

Bella- I'm fine but thanks see you at work

I shut off the phone and my emotions; I don't want to deal with anything. I move in auto pilot to my room and stare into space. I lay on my bed staring and staring until I fall asleep and my dreams begin.

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><p>Why is bella so calm about this news? why won't she go to the funeral? second date soon?<p>

Dont hate me for killing off charlie, its all in the process.

Update-Tomorrow

P.S I WOULD BE FOREVER GRATEFUL IF YOU GUYS CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY THE FALL

ALSO PLEASE DONT REVIEW THIS STORY OR PM ME SAYING YOU WISH I CONTINUE THIS WHEN YOU DO NOT EVEN REVIEW

I'm sorry but reviews are my life line i'm not about wanting a certain amount but can you atleast review a chapter once in a while it makes me smile and if you are reading the story and reviewing you get more chapters faster and frequently.

p.p.s read my profile


	12. Memories and Hard Truth

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

**I Want to say That After This Chapter, We Skip A Year Ahead and sometimes the chapter lengths will be shorter depending on what is happening. So I Hope you are okay with that AIX08( did i spell that right?) and i appreciate all your reviews.**

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><p><strong>JPOV<strong>

"How is the trip going?" I ask on the phone with Alice.

"Good so far" she sighs.

"What's up?" I ask

"Jazz wants me to a shrink again but I don't agree" she replies.

"Has it happened again? " "I can come down early"

"No I'm fine as long as you don't mind me calling you all the time"

"Feel free to"

"Guess what allie?" I say

"What James"

"I went on a date tonight and I might be having a second date soon"

"JAMES ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" she screams

"I thought you would be happy I went on a date" I said.

"I AM HAPPY! ITS JUST YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT WHILE I WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME!" She screams some more.

"I'm sorry Alice I didn't want to jinx it"

"How was it and who is she?"

"It was nice, just someone I admired for some time now and we ran into each other twice so I asked her out"

"That's good. What's her name what's she like?" she pried

" her name is belle and she's beautiful but it's not her beauty that I love it's the inside and she is good all through and I think she wants a chance at love but she's been hurt before so she's holding back" I say

"So you think you can get her to love you?" Alice asks

"I would be a happy man if she does but I won't wish that far"

"Well if you go on a second date then I have to meet her, its protocol"

"Allie that's too early for a second date. I have to go call you later"

**~TBW~**

All week I waited for that second phone call that didn't come a di had to come to terms with that it wasn't going to happen. I took extra jobs to take my mind off of it. Alice decided I should come to Philly for a vacation and I agreed.

**~TBW~**

BPOV

I Went back to work harder than ever to distract myself and it worked. I got double the clients and put all my energy into the work. I even had more wedding invitations and I took them all. But one thing was on my mind all the time, the dream I had of a memory of my father.

_8 weeks later_

_Laying down on the floor starving, mentally, emotionally and physically abused, belle hoped for death. She hoped he would finally crack and kill her, put her out this misery. She heard him in the other watching TV; he didn't even care to feed her anymore. Whenever he needed her he used her and discarded of her, in the beginning she thought maybe he was crazy in love with her but now she doesn't think its love anymore, he was a psychopath at least. So she kept quiet and waited for salvation and it came in the form of a knock_

_Boom_

_"Police open the door!" someone yelled._

_I didn't want to believe it because if it was the police then that meant maybe her dad was with them. He was the police chief of forks and he would never miss something like this especially if it involved his baby girl. The knocking started again but it was quiet out in the other room and then she felt someone over her, he must have snuck in here. He scooped her up and walked through the other side of the room where there was a trap door and as soon as it opened the front door was forced through_

_"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST"_

_"PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM"_

_They were too late, he was already taking her to a waiting car and then she heard dogs barking and sirens come around the corner. Her heart leapt, they must have the house and streets surrounded, he had no way out but David didn't care he threw me in the backseat and threw cover over me so that I was concealed. He was about to get in the car when we heard a voice. I knew that voice, it was my fathers_

_"Put your hands up and don't take another step" he said menacingly._

_David stopped and out up his hands but then he decided he didn't care and started to move towards the car._

_"I said don't move!" Charlie shouted_

_There was a gun shot and David screamed and another shot and he screamed again. The covers were lifted up and I saw the face of my father staring down at me._

_"Daddy!" I cried._

_I was stuck in the hospital for 3 weeks and everyday Charlie would visit and sometimes he would cry and then I would cry. I couldn't stop thanking him, I owed him my life but he wouldn't hear of it._

_"You're My Baby Girl I will always protect you" he said gruffly. When I got out the hospital I was asked did I want to attend the trail, I couldn't I wouldn't face him again. Charlie was angry; he didn't want him to have a trail_

_"Throw the bastard in prison and may he rot there" he said. I agreed. It was good to be home but something was missing._

_"Where's mom?" I asked_

_"Don't worry she's away visiting a friend but she's coming back right this moment"_

_I couldn't sleep in a dark room by myself, I had nightmares always with David getting out and coming to find me so I slept with Charlie. I depended on him more than ever now but he didn't seem to mind. When my mother came she was going crazy crying and hugging me. She didn't let me out of her sight for a minute. I was happy for a while and then I got the news that my parents were divorced and that's why she wasn't home when I came. She was distraught at the news, she always thought her parents would grow old and dies together and their split made her lose faith in love._

Sometimes the dream played out differently with her dad acting as a real hero and doing extraordinary things she guessed he would always be a hero in her eyes. It all came apart one day when I checked my email to find one from sue Clearwater. I opened the mail and screamed.

It was a picture of Charlie in his casket, pale and still with no life to him and seeing that finally broke me. Sobs started to build in my chest and my whole body shook, an inhuman scream pierced my ears and I realized that I was screaming and crying, I tried to close the email to get rid of the picture but the computer froze and i lost it. I started to hit the laptop screen and then I threw it against the wall. My cell phone beeped with a text from sue it read

_Sue- I thought you would want to see the funeral even though you couldn't come. I'm so sorry about your lost belle and i wish I could help you but you can't bottle up everything and never feel. You should feel, you should cry and scream. Its okay to grieve anyway you want._

I threw the phone against the phone also and I slid down on the floor and gave in to my emotions. I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe and that was the way rose found me when she burst into my house. She took one look at me and came over and let me cry on her shoulder, she even cried with me. The silence was comforting, I cried for hours and when I was done it was dark. Rose led me to the bathroom and I took a nice bath. I put on one of my dad old sweat shirts and climbed into bed and rose got in with me. I fell asleep to the soothing sounds of rose talking to Emmett.

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><p><strong> I Guess Bella is kind of like me, I dont like showing emotion sort of and i can never cry when a death or tragedy occurs but sometimes all it takes is memories<strong>


	13. One Year Later

**1 Year Later**

**BPOV**

I Think Charlie's Death Changed Me Somehow. I don't depend on anyone that much anymore. I have learned the hard way that people will either hurt me or leave me, not everyone of course but I have my guard up around people. I became inclusive and introverted so much so that Rosalie and Emmett were concerned, they wanted me to get out more maybe try dating again. I would have loved to get back dating but I just didn't find anyone I wanted to date, not since James. James. I was sad to say I haven't seen or spoken to him since, my phone broke and I had no way of contacting him. I felt bad I hoped he didn't think I turned him down for the second date we were supposed to go on; if I was to try a relationship again it would be with him. That didn't stop Emmett from trying to set me up with his friends.

"Come on B, I promise you will like him" he said

"I don't think so em I just don't have the time" I replied. That was always my excuse until he wore me down and finally I agreed. I wished I hadn't because every date I had was a disaster and I would keep going back for more thinking it would be better but no such luck. Emmett wouldn't let up though.

"Just meet him please he's a nice guy "emmet said again.

"That's what you always say em but you're never right" I told him

"I know but I swear this time I'm right" he pleaded.

"I'm busy right now maybe down the line" I shut him down.

"Well it's too late, I invited him to dinner at the house" he replied.

"Well too bad Emmett because I'm not going" I said smugly.

"Trust me you will, don't count out rose" he said smiling.

Eventually he won and that was how I went to dinner and met Edward. Now don't go thinking he's my boyfriend because I don't do relationships, he was just someone I called when I got lonely and we went out from time to time. But sometimes I will let him kiss me and that's about it. I can never stop thinking what if my phone didn't break? What if? Would I have a relationship with James? I look for him when I go by the park we had our date at, hoping for a glimpse of that warm smile and the light of his beautiful eyes. I'm always comparing him with Edward when we are together, it's hopeless I miss a guy I never got to know more about.

One day I thought I saw him but when I looked back it wasn't him but someone else from my past, someone that made me freeze in my tracks. _DAVID_. I stared at him thinking maybe it was a trigger but he was real and you would think I would be afraid but not anymore I was tired of being scared and vulnerable. He took a step forward.

"It's good to see you belle" he said. He actually had the nerve to talk to me.

"What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?" I asked.

He looked ashamed "I just wanted to see you again" he said smiling.

"See me! You were supposed to be in prison!" I screamed. "In prison forever!"

He glared "I got out on parole, I thought you would be happy to see me Bella" he hissed.

I threw my head back and laughed. "Are you serious? Happy? The Only Thing I was happy about was the day you went to prison" I said angrily.

"This wasn't the kind of reception I hoped for" he said sadly.

"Hoped! What you hoped I would come running back with open arms?" I asked laughing.

He was quiet shuffling his feet "I guess you're not ready to talk to me yet. I'll be around when you are." He said.

I lost it and walked up to him, he was startled with me so close. "You Listen Carefully, I Don't want you around me or my home or my life. You stay the hell away from me or so help me you will wish you stayed in prison" I threatened him.

I pushed past him and walked away, I hoped that was the last time I would ever see his face.

~TBW~

I decided to take Edward out to eat. We were going to Capone's, I don't know if I had an ulterior motive going there, maybe hoping to see James. It was the only connection I had of me besides the park. But I was happy for once and wanted to enjoy myself and they had the best food. I was holding Edwards hand which was a rare feat for me, I guess I was trying new things but I wished it was another hand that I was holding.

"You seem different" Edward commented.

"I feel different" I said smiling.

"I'm glad it's good to see you smiling" he said happily.

"I know I like smiling" I replied.

"Now I have to wait until you make us an official couple" he said.

The smile left my face "don't push your luck, we're not even a couple now" I said icily.

"Then what the hell are we Bella" he said sharply.

"You know I've been clear with you since day, we are just adult friend who go on dates occasionally and sometimes kiss. That's all" I explained.

We continued our walk and turning the corner we almost bumped into a couple; a pretty willowy brunette with pouty lips and killer legs but what caught my attention was the man. He was tall with blonde tanned hair and a warm smile but his eyes made me stop, I knew those eyes like honey with specks of hazel. My heart beat against my chest when he recognized me; he just stared like he saw a ghost but I was staring at his arms which were wrapped around the girl's waist. My heart ached for some reason.

"Bella?" The Man said.

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><p>Here You Go. Review If You Want. I Might Take It Down And Post On My Blog, If You Are Still Reading Pm me your email so i can let you know.<p> 


	14. A Year Isnt Enough To Erase My Love

**We Know SM Owns Twilight. Just Don't Steal My Story.**

**Oh My God You Guys are awesome! People who i didn;t know reads this story started to review. Your Review are like An Ego-Writing-Booster, Keep them Coming.**

**Review Goal- 3 reviews every chapter, even though it should be more but i'll be grateful for 3.**

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><p><strong>JPOV<strong>

I'm at a point in my life that I am okay with it. I thought I would be alone forever but I guess not. A lifetime ago I met this wonderful broken girl and I fell in love with her but I never imagined me actually going on a date with her and I waited for the second one with intense anticipation but it never came. I moved on with my life since then, I now have a place of residency for my job and I have a steady girlfriend. I went to see Alice in Philadelphia and I'm glad I did, it made Alice really happy and we talked about a lot of things. She gave me a lot of advice that I heeded it made me a better person. I thought she would stay out of my love life but of course she couldn't, the night before I went back home I ran into Tanya. She looked the same as in high school I guess the change was on the inside she must have been talking with Alice and let her lie to her because she actually thought I came back for her, that I missed her.

"James you're even more handsome" Tanya said breathless.

"Yes you're still the same but it's a compliment" I replied.

"I know why you came here" she began.

"And why is that" I interrupted.

"Alice told me you still have feelings left and"

I cut her off " Tanya please don't be delusional if I came back for you I would have come back a long time ago and please stop listening to Alice she doesn't know anything" I said angrily.

Alice really thought she was helping me but she made things worse, the only woman I wanted was the one that didn't want me and I was still getting over that. I don't even know why Alice wants me back with Tanya because when we were younger she used to get jealous of our relationship. We were really close and when I got girlfriends we didn't hang out much so she never took a liking to them, maybe she grew up but I knew better.

~TBW

"James I found a house in the neighborhood down the street and it's really cheap. Wouldn't it be nice to live here?" Alice said casually.

I saw where this was going and I had to stop hr. before she got started. "Allie" I began

"I wish I can live closer to you but I like where I live now and I have a job to attend to" I told her.

"But what about Tanya!" she said.

I knew it, I knew it. She thought I was getting back with Tanya and that I would move in with her and lives here. "Yes I need to talk to you about that" I said.

"What is there to talk about?"

"I Love you very much but you cannot keep meddling in my love life Alice that's even if I have one. I don't love Tanya and I'm not moving here" I said nicely to ease the pain.

"I'm sorry I just want what's best for you and I know you've ben wallowing over belle" she said.

I sighed. "Thank you for being concerned and I'll get over it" I said.

"I don't like her" she blurted out.

"How you don't even know her" I said laughing.

"She hurt you" she said plainly.

"Is that all you wanted to say Alice?" I asked

"You're leaving me again" she whispered.

"We talked about this Alice and I'm sorry it's hard for you but its life"

"Life sucks" she said.

As if I didn't already know that, it would always suck but you can make the best of it. When I came back home I got back to work to get my mind off of Bella and it worked but I was still lonely and then one day I saw Kate, the one I met at the bar when Alice was here and I started to think. I still had her number and that I didn't have to be alone and now here I am one year later as happy as I can be or am i? I Liked Kate enough to still want to be with her but I didn't see myself still in a relationship with her in the future, she was a fun girl and so understanding. She never complained or even gotten jealous, we were like equals and sometimes i would think I can do this I can stay with her but then I would feel like I'm missing something. Why am I still in love with someone I hardly know and who doesn't love me back? I asked myself that question every day and I never found the answer.

~TBW~

"Baby let's go out" Kate said.

"Go where?" I asked.

"I don't know somewhere, we should have fun before I go away" she said.

She was going to visit her family in Italy, she wanted me to go but I had my job here. I met her parents when they came to visit before and they loved me. The dad can't hint that he wanted me to marry his daughter and the mom kept hinting at grandkids. It was too early for that and we were already getting serious, it scared me to be honest.

"Okay but we could stay here" I said.

"We always stay in, I want to go out" she whined. I moved to the couch where she was sitting reading a magazine.

"If we go out we can't stay in and do this" I said kissing her neck.

She shivered "yes but we can do that when we get back" she countered.

"But we can't do this" I replied and out my hands down her pants.

She bucked into my hands "James comes on" she said breathlessly.

I pushed one finger in her "come on what" I said teasing her.

She moaned "unggh jaa...ungh mes" she tried to say my name.

"Yes" I asked innocently

"If we go out I promise I'll make your night worth it" she said.

"Mmm okay let's go" I said and jumped up from the couch.

She slumped down breathing heavily "I hate you for getting me all hot and bothered" she said.

"Then the wait will be better, let's go" I told her.

We decided to walk around looking for a good place to eat; I would have said capons but too many memories there. We were just turning the corner when we almost bumped into another couple. I thought I would never see this face again and I tried to forget it but seeing it up close now after a year, all the emotions rushed out. The face of my broken girl and those blue eyes and soft curves and hands… hands that was holding another mans.

"Bella?"

"James" she breathes.

The man she's with looks from me to her and holds his hand out

"I'm Edward I guess you two know each other" he says

I shake his hand "I guess you can say that" I reply

Kate nudges me "this is Kate" I introduce her

"His girlfriend" she says glaring at Bella. I'm surprised she never acted this way to anyone else.

"Bella" she says "it's good to see you James, I guess I'll see you around" she quickly finishes and grabs Edwards hand and they disappear.

I'm still staring after her longing to be that person.

"I wonder why I never heard of her" Kate says breaking me out my reverie.

"Oh yeah it was long ago" I say

"Ex-girlfriend?" she asks

"I wish, we just went on one date and that's the end of our history"

"Well with the way you two were staring at each other I would say more"

"It's just I haven't seen her in a year, I was startled"

"I hope that's all, hope there is nothing more" Kate says looking at me.

"Nothing "I say "Nothing at all". And there lies my problem.

I Find us a small restaurant and we eat a quick meal but my mind is still on Bella, why did she have to bring back these buried feelings well I thought they were buried and now they are resurfacing and quickly. On the way home Kate is quiet, I want to be truthful to her and tell her that there is nothing to worry about and I wish I was right. But I won't she's been so good to me I won't break her heart, I will get over Bella I tell myself. When we get home Kate tell me we need to talk and it's important. I wonder if it's about today and I hope it's not.

"James I need to ask you something first" Kate begins.

"Ask me anything" I say.

"Can you see yourself loving me?" she asks.

"Yes" I lie. I can't love her when my heart belongs to someone else but I can never tell her that.

She takes a deep breath "good because I'm about to put myself out there and tell you something"

"James I love you, I love you and maybe someday down the road I can see myself marrying you. I had to let you know and I need to know if you are on the same page" she finishes looking at me.

I'm still processing her words because they change everything, if she hadn't fell in love with me then I could be with her and see if I felt more but now I can't lie and say I love her back I just can't.

"Kate"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry I lied when I said I could love you. I just didn't want to hurt you"

"I see and this has nothing to do with what happened today"

"It has partial credit but I can't keep lying to myself and you. Maybe someday I can return the sentiment bit u can't and I understand if you want to break up"

"James I meant it when I said I love you, I will fight for you. I can't give up knowing I never tried."

"You're willing to stay in this relationship?" I asked in disbelief

"Yes" she answered

"Willing to risk everything even if you get hurt?"

"Yes"

"No Kate I can't let that happen. I won't lie to you and say I can try because the truth is I don't want to and it has nothing to do with you. I need to at least try to move on and maybe then if you are willing again we can try"

She shows no sign of pain she just nods and walks to the bedroom to pack her things. That has made me tired, emotionally tired. All this time I have been lying to myself thinking I can get over her but I can't and I guess I'll spend the rest of my life loving her. I got the bedroom to check on Kate and I stop when I hear sniffles and then a sob. I have never, made anyone cry a di always vowed to never let it happen especially a woman.

"Kate is you alright?" I call through the door.

"Yes give me a minute" she says hoarsely. She must have been crying for long. She comes out and gives me a hug.

"James you're worth the wait and you're worth the tears. I just hope one day you will see it"

She kisses me on the cheek and leaves.

~TBW~

I'm not worth anything I tell myself morosely as I walk to the park. I always come here to clear my head and I desperately need it. This is just the beginning, the begging of being alone if I can never let her go. Let the fantasy of being with her go.

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><p><strong>Next update- I Don't know. Its written in my head but if i get my goal reviews i will post it tonight doesnt matter what time.<strong>

**Thanks To Sghb716- I Love That You Review every chapter. I Anticipate your reviews everyday. (:**

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**October25-Mandye You are awesome. I Love getting your reviews, Thanks for taking time to review all three of my stories. P.S I Love Basing a character off of you (:**

**P.S Sometimes i post teasers in my review replies and on my blog.**


	15. I Want You

**Firstly, I Adore EveryOne of your reviews.**

**Secondly, I Know this is not betaed but bear with me i will re-upload all the chapters with edits soon.**

**I Hope That This is what we have all been waiting for.**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I don't know why I ran like that from James, maybe it was the feelings I felt that scared me or maybe because he was with someone and why should I care. I ask myself that but I have no answer, I care and it's new and strange. The only guys I ever cared about were Charlie and Emmett and Charlie's dead and Emmett is like a brother to me. This feeling is strong and it will get me hurt. We didn't even go to Capone's, I waited until James left and I walked back home. I was so preoccupied with his return that I forgot about Edward.

"You know I always thought the reason were not together is because of me" Edward began.

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"I'm talking about why we can't have a relationship, I also figured it was you that you had issues to get over" he continued.

I wondered why he was bringing this up now, we went over this. Why can't he understand I didn't want a relationship period or maybe I just didn't want one with him? That thought startled me, who would I want a relationship with?

" it's not you Edward, you know I have been through a lot in my past relationship, a lot I try not to dwell on and I'm just getting over it. I'm not ready for this" I explain.

He shakes his head "I figured it out. It was because of someone else and you can tell yourself it's because of your past and that may be true but I see now your heart is with someone else"

"Edward if that's what you want to think, if that's what helps you with my rejection"

"It was James all along wasn't it?" he asks ignoring my response.

"What about James?" My heart beats faster at the mention of his name.

"You have feelings for him" he says. "You don't see it but I do" he finishes.

I don't know what to say after that because he may be right and I don't know the extent of these feelings or how they even started. I told myself that this would not happen again, I can't let it happen.

"Are you going to deny it or not? Because I won't stay around being treated like this I know I deserve better" he tells me.

"Think what you want Edward and I'm sorry you feel that way but I told you from the start how this was going to be. It's your leave" I reply.

I let him leave and maybe I should apologize better because I knew he had feelings for me but I lead him on in a way. I leave my home and seek out the solitude of the park, I've been coming here lately and it's just where I need to be and sort out these feelings and to sort out what I feel and how I feel. I walk up the familiar steps and go straight to the same bench but I stop because it's occupied, by none other than him.

~TBW~

He looked up at the sound of my footsteps. Why did he have to be beautiful? No why did he have to make me trust him and miss him and just maybe feel for him.

"Hi" I said shyly. Why did I feel this way around him, we went on a date for god's sake.

"Hey" he said. He was still staring at me, probably wondering why I was here.

"I was just coming to clear my head. Didn't know you would be here" I explained.

"Yeah it's a great place to come" he replied.

"I'll find another bench to sit I don't want to bother you"

"No it's fine" he said and scooted over.

I walked over and sat down; an unexpected wind blew his scent in my face. It smelled like cinnamon and mint with just a hint of nature. It made me dizzy. We didn't talk for a while and the silence bothered me more than it should.

"Where's your girlfriend?" I asked. I don't know why I asked, it came out on its own and I guessed I cared more than I thought.

"I had to let her go" he said. I had to tell myself not to care.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"It wasn't fair to her, I didn't love her and I never could" he explained sighing. I would be lying if I said that statement didn't make me happy.

"Why don't you love her?" I wanted to know.

He turned to me "because my heart belongs to someone else" he answered.

The way he said it and the way he looked was so intense, it gave me goose bumps.

"So I haven't seen you around" he said casually.

We talked some more, I told him about my business and about Charlie dying. He was really sad about that. He said he wished he would have stayed that night so I wouldn't have had to be alone. He was too sweet and good and he smelled so good, I was falling with every word he said. He asked me about my relationship with Edward. I quickly set the record straight.

"He was never my boyfriend, just someone I went on dates with sometimes" I said.

"Oh"

"Relationships are hard work and the last one I had left me physically and emotionally abused"

This was new, I never talked about my past with anyone but I felt like she should know.

"So this is the reason why you don't trust men" he said.

"Yeah"

"I'm so sorry Bella why didn't you tell me, you let me take you on a date when you weren't comfortable" he said turning to me.

He looked so sad and sorry.

"No James I do trust you that's why I agreed to it" I assured him.

"You trust me? Why?" he asked

"Because you make me feel safe and you're not like other men" I admitted.

"Thanks" he smiled.

We talked some more and I never wanted this to end but he had to go.

"I guess I'll see you around" he said and was about to leave.

"Wait!" I called.

He stopped.

"I was just wondering if the offer still stands on the second date" I said.

He seemed surprised. "Really are you asking me out Bella?"

"Yes, I'm sorry about last time, I broke my phone and"

He laughed "its fine it's just that I thought you turned me down because you didn't want me"

"No I want you" I said quickly. Then I realized what I said.

"I meant" I started to say.

"Bella I would love to continue this conversation, so yes the offer still stands"

"Okay well I guess come by my house after work tomorrow and we can talk more" I said.

"You've got a date" he replied smiling.

~TBW~

I was ridiculously happy all day at work and even managed to stay in the room with men clients without noticing. I was giddy and nervous, I worried it was too soon to have these feelings and I wanted him to know so I can confirm if he felt the same. I needed to get it off my chest and then maybe I can start to have a relationship again.

"Bella Swan is you smiling!" rose called startling me out of my reverie.

"I'm smiling?" I said playing it cool.

"Yes you could blind someone with that smile spill it" she said coming to sit next to me.

"Well you remember James?"

"Yeah the one you turned down"

"Rose be serious anyway I ran into him yesterday"

"Yes i know Edward told Emmett all about it, he's hurt but I told Emmett that it wouldn't work" she said.

"Well anyway I ran into him again at the park and we talked and I told him I want him" I said in a rush.

She looked at me for a long time "are you telling me what I think you are telling me?"

"Yes rose and we officially have a date tonight and I'm going to tell him the truth"

"Which Is?"

"That I have feelings for him and maybe I could see us in a relationship"

"Bella I am so proud of you for putting yourself out there"

"I know and it feels so good and he's so good" I said smiling.

"Well I have to meet him soon, when I and Emmett come back from vacation we should have dinner" she said.

"Whatever you want rose"

Rose left work early to pack for her vacation, I would miss her and I can't wait for her to meet James. I had to stay at work late and when I left it was real late, I hoped I hadn't missed James. I rushed home making plans on what to wear and cook but when I got there he was already waiting.

"James I'm so sorry I had to stay at work late" I explained in a rush.

"Its fine I was going to wait a few minutes then leaves"

"I don't even have anything to eat"

"Its fine Bella we can order"

I lead him in the house and told him to wait while I changed clothes. I was mentally screaming that I had another man in the house it was still a part of my subconscious. I put on some sweats and a tank top; this should be a comfy date.

"What would you like to eat?" I asked him.

"Pizza would be fine and maybe some bread sticks"

I ordered the food and while we waited we talked about our day.

"I told my sister about you she is dying to meet you" he told me.

"Well so is my friend and her husband, they want to have a dinner when they are back from vacation"

"Looking forward to it" he says.

"I know we're supposed to talk about things but I have no idea how to start" I admit to him.

"That's fine I need to tell you something first and then you may even run away" he says laughing nervously.

"It can't be that bad"

"Bella I've been watching you way before we met. I saw you on the way to the work one day and after that it was love at first sight" he begins.

I inhale a sharp breath at the words love; I don't think I'm ready for that just yet.

"After that I would always make sure to walk by your job every day and longed to talk to you to know you but I observed what I could about you and I liked it. I wanted to talk to you I just didn't know how and that day we bumped into each other I was scared to but then I saw you at the wedding and I couldn't not ask you out and now we're here" he finishes.

It's quiet. I'm absorbing this information at an alarming fast rate. He's looking at me waiting for me to speak. And then he stands up

"Where are you going?" I ask

"I just spilled my heart to you and you're quiet I'm guessing your disgusted with me so I'll let myself out" he said.

"James please I'm not running just let me process this" I pleaded. He sat back down and fidgeted around. Normally I would run from this type of confession but that was before and now things have changed.

"James I want you to know that this isn't easy, but I have feelings for you to. Not as strong as what you feel, I don't think I'm ready for love yet" I admit.

He looks at me "you have feelings for me?" he asks in dis belief.

"Yes like I said at the park. I want you"

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><p><strong>So Sweet.<strong>

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	16. What The Hell?

**Did I Tell You Ladies That I Adore You? Well I Do, Your Reviews are making my day.**

**So This Chapter was a little different, it has some lemony goodness in it (which I hope I wrote it well)**

**P.S We Skip ahead time in this chapter also, I'm thinking we have maybe 4 more chapters left.**

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><p>JPOV<p>

I was where I wanted to be, where I dreamed I would be for so long that now that I'm here it's still hard to believe. All the times I went to bed alone and stared at the empty space next to me, all the times my dreams turned to blonde hair and blue eyes. That one time date I thought would lead to another and from that I turned to the comfort and love of another woman I thought I could love. It all leads me here, lead me to this moment wrapped up in her.

Bella I Thought. My Sweet Bella who was now wrapped around me fast asleep. I brushed her hair out her face and kissed her forehead; she sighed and burrowed into me. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, an angel in stillness and grace. I was expecting this dream to turn real any minute, this dream that she wanted to be with me eve after all she's been through. She was willing to try and I loved her even more for that.

It happened fast, we were on our second date at her house and we declared our feelings and I told her I would wait until she was ready for a relationship but she said she wanted to try she wanted to feel again she wanted to my girl. Next thing I knew I was kissing her, tasting her, inhaling her scent. It was like raspberry and freesia and her lips god her lips were an addiction the sweetest I ever had. I had to stop before I got out of control, I thought she would push me away but she responded with vigor. Now that we are officially dating, I walk with her to work and back and sometimes I sleep over her house but last night she stayed with me. I'm wrapped in bliss when my phone rings and the only one who calls me is Alice. Alice! I remember I haven't called her in a week I've been busy with work and Bella. Bella! I haven't told Alice about her either, well she knows but not that we are together now.

"Good Morning allie" I answered happily.

~TBW~

BPOV

I woke up to warmth surrounding me and the scent of cinnamon and mint. I smiled and look at James with his ruffled hair and defined body that rippled when he moves. He sees me awake and mouths morning, I smile back and stretch my limbs. I sleep so much better when I sleep with him.

"Yes Alice I'm fine" he said into the phone. I wondered why she would be calling so early in the morning.

"I'm sorry it's just busy lately" he apologized.

"No you can talk to her when you come. I'll see you tomorrow" he hung up.

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah is that a problem?"

"It's just dinner at rose and Emmett's how long is she staying?"

"I don't know. Would rose mind if we brought company?"

"Don't think so I'll see"

We showered together and that was a bad idea because we wouldn't keep our hands off each other. I know he was sexually frustrated because I've been holding out; I just wasn't ready for that part no matter how much my body wanted it. He cooked us breakfast of Belgian waffles, fruit, and sausages. He looked so sexy standing there with his apron on, I liked a man that could cook and he most of the qualities I liked.

Work was more fun now that I was happier. Rosalie said she thinks she likes me more now.

"Whatever James is doing, tell him to never stop"

"He's being him" I said.

"I like him already and we didn't even meet yet"

"Oh yeah about dinner tomorrow, his sister and her husband is coming"

"No problems invite them if you want"

I smiled when I saw I had a text from James

J Baby- I can't wait to shower with you again. I'm hard just thinking about it.

I almost dropped the phone and sucked in a deep breath. My body tingled with the memory of his hands and lips brushing across every inch of my skin. I couldn't wait either, I looked at the clock it was only one in the afternoon. I sighed time was going slow today.

I texted him back

Bella- I miss you and your hands and lips and other things

J Baby- I miss you more. What other things

Bella-I miss your glorious cock and your fingers

J Baby- I'm going to let the other statement slide, can't get into that at work. My fingers?

Bella-yes your pretty fingers, so fast and quick in making me cum

I was getting hot and turned on by our conversation

J Baby- I can use other "glorious" things to make you cum *wink*

I had to bite my lip before a moan escaped, I was wet and aching for release I had to stop this.

Bella- I'm sure you can. Have to see you later

~TBW~

When I saw him later I jumped him and attacked with fervor. I was so tense I needed release immediately. He took his slow time kissing me all over but I needed his lips elsewhere.

"James you can kiss me later but now I need you to make me cum" I said breathlessly.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me with a dark look in his eyes and he licked his lips, I nearly came undone right that second.

"James please I need your fingers and lips to make me cum" I pleaded.

He needed no other instructions, shedding my clothes in seconds and laying me flat on the bed. He kissed up the inside of my legs and thighs, I was trembling with need.

"Please" I pleaded again.

And then he was plunging his tongue between my legs and I threw my head back and screamed, he was readily licking and sucking my tip and then he added two fingers; one thrusting and the other pinching. I felt the tingle go through my body and between my legs

"Ooo baby I'm going to cum!" I screamed.

He bit my clit and I came undone, my legs shaking seeing stars and other shapes, he rode out my orgasm with me sucking and licking everything up. When he was done he lifted his head and dropped my legs, they felt like jelly. I lay still catching my breath; he moved up the bed and lay on the side of me. He looked at me and kissed me deeply, I could taste myself on him and it was sweet and salty.

"You... were ah mazing" I breathed.

"You taste incredible" he said.

I smiled "your turn" I said.

"No I'll be fine you don't have to"

"I want to" I said and moved to the bottom of the bed. He watched me with hooded eyes and I removed his pants and boxers. His cock spring free hard and glorious, it was so pretty. I would marry it if I could. I put my tongue on the tip and licked the pre cum; he hissed and bucked his hips. I put him in my mouth and in no time he was bucking his hips moaning and screaming my name. I sucked him clean and laid on him.

"Thank you" he said reverently.

"No thank you" I said.

He smiled and went to kiss me when the doorbell rang. I looked at him.

"Ignore it" he said and started to kiss me again.

His cell phone rang at that time but he ignored it, it rang a few more times and then it started to vibrate loudly.

He groaned and picked it up. He looked shocked and angry for a moment

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Alice" he sighed.

"What about her?"

"She's here" he said simply and started to get dressed.

"She's here now?"

"Yes that was her ringing the bell"

Oh god I wasn't ready at all and then I was nervous what if she didn't like me? James saw the concern on my face.

"Bella its fine" he said softly

"What if she doesn't like me" I whispered

"She will and if she doesn't, who cares I like you and that's all that matters"

He was too sweet. We got dressed and went to answer the door. He opened it to show an irate short pretty black haired young woman and a handsome tall man but he was smiling.

"What took you so long!" she said angry.

"I was busy Alice" James answered

"Yeah too busy for your sister" she retorted

"I didn't know you were coming Alice calm down"

"Come in I'd like you to meet someone" he said.

We stepped back to let them in and the nervousness returned tenfold, she was already pissed that I could tell but as long as she's not pissed at me then we're fine.

James pulled me to the front and wrapped his arms around me "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Bella" he said proudly.

"Hi" I said waving shyly.

Alice just glared at me but her husband stepped up "I'm jasper don't mind Alice she's just tired"

"Hi jasper"

"It's nice to see James happy and you make him happy so thank you" he said kindly

I blushed "your welcome I guess". I looked towards Alice but she was still glaring.

"Alice" James said

She nodded towards me and then she went upstairs without speaking. I was surprised by her attitude what had i done to her?

"I guess she's just cranky" jasper shrugged

"That's not it and that's no reason to be rude" James said

"I know I don't know what's gotten into her but I apologize for it" jasper said and followed her upstairs.

"Is she always like this?" I asked James

"No but I need to find out why" he sighed.

"It's fine as long as she's nice. I don't like women with attitudes towards me for no reason it's nothing but jealousy" I said

"Yeah" he said absentmindedly

Later on at night

We just finished dinner; it was fine besides Alice glaring at me. Jasper was so nice and funny, we would get along just fine but I couldn't say the same for his wife. I was cleaning the kitchen, James and jasper were out playing ball and it was just me and Alice. I walked up stairs and went into the bedroom about to put on James shorts and shirt when Alice barged in without knocking.

"Oh hello Alice" I said kindly.

"Look we need to talk" she said glaring at me. For suck a short and small person she sure could be scary when angry.

"Look Alice I don't know what I did to make you mad but I would..." she cut me off

"Don't think that you're going to be spending all your time with my brother while I'm here and don't think that you will last long because you won't. Just because you're his girlfriend doesn't mean you own him. He's mine and mine only" she said angrily

I was about to respond when she just turned around and slammed the door. What the hell just happened?

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><p><strong>So yeah what the hell alice?<strong>

**AIXA00- Im glad you super loved this chapter, i super love your reviews. you can have james anytime you want. happy anniversary**

**SGH4B- That means alot that it was your fave your chapter.**

**HIDDENFANGIRL- Glad you are liking this. i never liked james and bella either but had to write one.**

**Mandye- Miss you**

**http colon slash slash forum dot fanfiction dot net/forum/The_Beauty_Within_Discussion/91178/**


	17. Love Comes With Problems

**I'm Back Sorry For The Wait,Busy Week with school. Hopefully i will get back to the regular schedule.**

**Loved Your Answers About alice. I Love That You Know The Characters.**

**Some sweetness, Some Angst This Chapter has it all. Okay Enough Rambling Enjoy**

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><p>"What time is James sister coming today?" Rosalie asked me while we worked.<p>

"Oh they are already here. Came in yesterday" I replied.

"Oh really? So you met her? What's she like?" Rosalie asked

I sighed "I don't know, she doesn't seem to like me" I said.

"Why would you say that?" rose said confused.

"Because she practically glared at me all day yesterday and when we were alone she basically told me that me and James won't last and don't think that I will spend all my time with her brother. He's hers and hers alone" I answered.

"Whoa bitch alert"

"Yes I don't know maybe its jealousy I mean that is her only family and I can understand that but I won't tolerate disrespect you know"

"Yeah don't worry if she gets out of hand at dinner I'll put her in place" rose said smiling.

"No its fine, I'll talk to her again I want to get along with her for James"

"Yeah what did James say about this?"

"Well he doesn't know yet, he was with jasper when she cornered me"

"Well tell him"

"I will I just didn't see him this morning "

The day goes by and I don't hear from James all day, no texts at all and I'm getting worried. I call him twice but it just goes to voicemail, I wouldn't worry but with the incident with Alice I can't let anything past me. We close the shop early so rose can get the dinner ready, I take my time getting home thinking about how I will approach James about Alice, I don't want to start anything and cause a rift between them but I have to say something right?. When I get home Alice and jasper are nowhere to be seen, I go upstairs and there is James. I sigh with relief and my body aches for his touch, I'm surprised at how much I miss and need him.

"Hey I was just about to call you back" he says

"Hey I missed you" I reply.

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me "I missed you more. It was a busy day today sorry" he says nuzzling his face into my neck.

"It's okay you can make it up to me" I tell him

"How?" he wonders

"Kiss me"

He grabs my face and kisses me hard. I melt into him and my lips respond. We move in synch to the edge of the bed where he pushes me down and continue kissing me. All the thoughts of today fly out my head as I surrender my mind and body to him, I never want to lose these feelings he gives me. He stops and looks at me for a long time.

"I Love you" he says.

My heart beats faster and I start to panic, I have to remind myself that he's not David and he won't hurt me but it's still too soon. I don't know what he expects me to say.

"Its fine one day when you're ready to say it I'll still be here waiting to hear it" he says softly.

I open my mouth to respond when the door burst open

"James!" Alice says and then stops when she sees us. I swear I would be dead by the look she's giving me.

"Would you knock Alice" James says sighing. He pushes off of me and looks at Alice.

"I was coming to see if you wanted to go to lunch but I see you are busy" she says.

"Thanks but I ate lunch"

"Well do you want to see a movie?" she asks him.

"Yeah come on Bella" he says to me.

I can see he didn't know she meant only them.

"Oh she's coming?" she asks

"Of course" he says.

"Well I didn't invite her" she hisses

I cringe at the malice in her tone "its fine you go ahead and spend some time with your sister" I tell James.

But he's looking at Alice with an incomprehensive expression on his face

"Alice what's wrong with you" he asks

"Nothing I just thought we would be spending the day together"

"We are and Bella is coming so I don't see the problem"

She takes a deep breath and then she loses it.

"SHES THE PROBLEM! WE HARDLY SPEND ANYTIME TOGETHER I HARDLY SEE YOU AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE HER IT WONT BE THE SAME AND I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN, SO EITHER WE GO ALONE OR WE DON'T GO AT ALL"

I'm standing there shocked by her outburst and I look towards James but he's staring at Alice.

"Alice now is not the time for this, apologize to Bella and when we bet back me and you are going to have a talk" he says calmly.

She just stands there not moving and not saying anything and then she starts to cry, it's a full blown crying attack. I'm startled and have no clue to what just happened.

"Baby would you mind letting me have a moment with my sister" James asks.

"Sure" I say. I take one more look at Alice and I leave.

~TBW~

When Bella closes the door I take a deep breath and turn to Alice.

"What the hell was that Alice?" I scream at her.

She looks taken aback

"What is your problem with Bella?"

"She's trying to replace me" Alice says sniffling

"How can she replace you Alice?"

"She's going to be the new girl in your life and you won't have time for me anymore. I have to practically beg you to move in with me. You never call" she goes on.

"Alice I love you and I told you I'm not leaving again and I meant that but just because I have a new girlfriend doesn't change that either. I love her Alice and I can't lose her I won't lose you either so you suck it up and grow up" I tell her

"You are my sister my flesh and blood you can never be replaced but Bella? She can leave me anytime and you're not helping the situation either. Your jealousy has gotten out of control I thought you grew out of this"

"I'm sorry but it's true James you will forget me and I will be alone"

"Alice I won't leave you and you have jasper"

"That's not the same. Fine I can deal with this but I don't have to like her"

"Fine Alice but please stop being rude and don't be disrespectful in her house"

"Her house?"

"my home is her home Alice I love her and we're going to be together and I have to know if you can handle that I need you in my life I need you to like my girlfriend because one day she will become my wife and your sister in law and if you cannot be respectful to her then you can leave"

She starts crying again and I take her in my arms.

"I'm sorry Jamie please don't kick me out" she says

"I won't now come in lets go to the movies but first apologize to Bella"

We go downstairs to see Bella and jasper talking. I'm glad they can at least get along; I don't know what I'm going to do with Alice.

"Hey jasper lets go start the car up" I tell him giving the girls some privacy. We go outside and wait in the car.

"How bad was it?" he asks me

"I Never seen her act like this" I answer

"I witnessed it once when we first got married, it was hard for her being alone and then she found me but I think she still needed the reassurance you know" he tells me.

"I Understand but I won't have her disrespecting Bella"

"You love her" it wasn't a question.

"Yes I've always had"

"She's a keeper" he says smiling.

We look up to see the girls coming. Jasper gets out and goes to the backseat. Bella looks unsure at where to sit; I smile and pat the front seat. When we get to the movies I sit with Alice and she seems happier.

"Feeling better?" I ask

"Yes I just needed some time with my big brother"

The movie is over in two hours and it's time to go to rose's house.

"You're welcome to come" I tell Alice.

"Its okay I thought we would go to dinner together"

I sigh "Alice we are going together"

"No I meant just me and you but it's okay I need some time with jasper"

I'm glad when they leave. Alice has given me a headache in one day.

"You okay?" Bella asks.

"I'm fine how you are"

"Better now that I'm with you" she says

"I'm really sorry about Alice she will try she said just as long as she don't disrespect you" I say

She's quiet for some time "what's wrong?" I ask

"Just thinking, is this just some fling I mean a onetime crush" she asks

"What do you mean?"

"Are you in this for the long term or will you leave when you don't think you can take not being loved back?"

"Bella I told you I love you and I'll wait until you're ready. Where is this coming from?"

"Well I wanted to know and something your sister said"

"You're listening to what Alice says" I say in disbelief

"No I just wanted to make sure" she says

"Bella you tell me what is this for you? I don't know with you doubting me"

"You know "she says

"Actually I don't know Bella, all I know is that you want me but how much?" I ask

"I don't know James" she says exasperated.

"How can you not know? Its easy do you like me enough to stay through the good and bad or will you leave when it gets too much"

"I can't answer that yet James you know this is new to me"

"No love is not new to you neither is a relationship what's new is loving the person back" I say

She looks hurt and I sigh. Great Alice has already messed my day up.

"I would have thought you'd understand, understand me but if you can't take me and my problems then we should end this now" she says harshly

I gasp and I feel a stab in my heart

"Bella I didn't mean it like that" I whisper

"Then what did you mean James" she retorts. She looks so hurt and angry.

"I just needed to know that when it gets bad you won't go running. I don't want to end this" I tell her honestly. She's quiet and I'm afraid I already messed up. She's going to leave me, I won't stop her either.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I won't stop you if you want to leave" I say softly

She looks up at me surprised and still a little hurt

"James I'm not leaving I'm sorry I was just mad I didn't mean it" she says

"You're staying?" I ask

She wraps around me and kisses me

"Yes I'm sorry for letting Alice ruin our day"

"I'm sorrier. Can I ask you a question?" I say hesitantly

"Yeah" she says cautiously

"What exactly did Alice says?"

"She said that I shouldn't think I will be spending all your time with you while she was here and that you was hers and hers only and" she stops

"Bella is there more" I ask

She looks at me with tears in her eyes "she said that this wouldn't last and you would leave me. I believed her because I thought"

I don't let her finish as I kiss her with all the passion I can muster, putting all my feelings into the kiss.

"I'm here until you call me away." I say. "I can't believe she said that. I'll talk to her" I say.

We have to catch the bus because Alice and jasper took the car. I'm surprised and pissed that she told Bella that and I'm hurt I love my sister but Bella makes me happy and if she can't understand that then she has to leave. We get to the house 3 minutes late. It was a nice affair. Emmett is someone I can hang with all the time, he's funny and sometimes he can get a bit crazy but there's rose to keep him in check. She's a good friend; strong, sweet and confident.

"I have to say I haven't seen Bella smile this much ever" Emmett says after dinner

"Yeah that's James working his magic" Rosalie comments.

Bella blushes and we all laugh.

"I Hope that is the cause" I say.

"I'm sorry your sister couldn't come" rose says.

"Yeah she wasn't feeling up to it" I lie. But I see Bella and rose exchange looks that makes me think she already knows.

"Well I hope we can meet soon" rose says.

"Yeah we need to do this again" Emmett speaks up.

"You should come over James for the next dinner" Bella answers them.

"Yeah I wouldn't mind" I reply

"Then it's settled. I hear you're a good cook" Emmett tells me.

We settle down playing a few games and then it's time to leave.

"Thanks for having me rose" I say

"No problem" she answers. She goes over to Bella and they have a last minute talk.

Emmett comes up to me "I'm glad little B has you but if you hurt her" he says

I nod letting him know I understood. "Good I really like you man" he says.

"Good to know".

"We should play ball sometimes go out for a drink" he says

"Sounds good here is my card hit me up whenever" I say.

Bella and rose hug "call me later B" raised tells her.

"I Will" she says and goes to hug Emmett "stay out of trouble dude" she tells him.

He laughs "you too dudette.

~TBW~

When we get home it's really late. All I want to do is shower and curl up with Bella, it was a long day but apparently Alice has other plans. We walk into the living room where Alice and jasper is sitting but what stops me in the tracks is the other person sitting next to Alice.

"James look who dropped by!" Alice says happily

"It's good to see you James" Tanya purrs.

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><p><strong>*Don't Hate me* Okay Let me have it.<strong>

**P.S This Chapter Has 2,544 words and is 7 Pages long,Longest i ever wrote.**


	18. Tanya? Get The Hell Out

**As Promised Another Chapter.**

**As some of you may know. This site is being a fail lately with posting updates or publishing new stories or new documents but i found a work around.**

**We Have Passed The 50 Review Mark! That Is An Accomplisment for me and i said on my twitter that if that happens i will give you two updates everyday. now i keep promises so i will see how this works out. i will let you know if an update will be late. ( So please for news like that follow my blog www dot dot com)**

**Okay Here is it what we have all been waiting for!**

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><p>BPOV<p>

I almost walked into James the way he stopped in the middle of the living room. I looked over his shoulder to see what the problem was.

Alice and jasper were sitting on the couch but there was someone next to Alice; a sexy strawberry blonde with long thick eyelashes and pouty lips. She knew she was sexy the way she sat exuded confidence but I was confused to why James stopped when she opened her mouth.

"Good to see you James" she practically purrs.

So it seems they knew each other and the way she was looking at him practically undressing him with her eyes, it was more than just friendly history. I cleared my throat and James looked back at me.

"I'll be right back" he told me. "Alice can I talk to you?" he said moving towards the kitchen.

Alice got up and followed him and it was just me, jasper and this woman. I looked from jasper to her wondering who she was and what she was doing here. I could see her sizing me up wondering who the hell I am. You and me both I thought.

"Will someone explain to me what's going on?" I asked.

Jasper looked shocked; he looked from me to the woman "well Tanya meet Bella James girlfriend and Bella meet Tanya James ex-girlfriend." Jasper introduced us.

I suspected much but he never told me about her, the only one I knew about was Kate.

"Girlfriend? Since when?" Tanya had asked looking at me.

"Does it matter? I just want to know why the hell you're here. I can guess but I want you to tell me" I said moving towards her. So many problems keep popping up in the way of me and James relationship and I'll be damned if I was going to let another one arise.

"I came here to claim what's mine" she said casually.

"What claim would that be?" I asked playing along.

"I'm sure you can figure it out. You're a pretty girl but don't think this will last" she said harshly.

I laughed "I'm sure of it. I heard this warning before but it's not needed. Hers a warning for you" I begin.

"Ladies please no fighting" jasper said looking nervous.

"Nothing to fight for. Just want to let her know something" I said assuring him.

I turned to her "If you came here to get back with James, He's taken and you can get the hell out"

She looked at me "Excuse me?"

"Did I speak a different language? I'm sure you understood me"

"This is James house and I was invited in and we'll see what he have to say about this" she retorts.

I Smile "I'm sorry let me translate it better for you. I meant you can get the hell out or I will personally remove you" I state clearly.

~TBW~

JPOV

I Pace back and forth trying to get my thoughts together. I can't believe Alice would do this, she crossed the line. I'm hurt and pissed beyond repair.

"James?" she asks tentatively

"Are you okay?" she asks again and moves to put her hand on my shoulder.

I flinch from her touch and she flinches like her I hit her.

"Alice I don't know what to with you" I say quietly.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Can you tell me why the fuck Tanya is sitting in my living room!" I ask harshly

She flinches again and I see she's hurt, I never raised my voice or cursed at Alice but she is testing my patience.

"Well she came here asking for you so I let her in. what the big deal is" she states calmly

"The Big Deal?" I ask

"Yes she just wanted to visit"

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME ALICE! YOU KNOW THE REASON WHY SHES HERE AND YOU JUST LET HER IN KNOWING THAT I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING ALICE. STOP ACTING INNOCENT!" I explode

"James" she says with wide eyes.

"I was going to let this slide, your obvious dislike to Bella but then she tells me you told her that we wouldn't last" I say calmly shaking my head.

"I didn't want to believe it Alice because I know you and I know you love me"

"I do love you James!" she cries.

"This is not the way you show me you love me. Bella makes me happy and you need to respect my decision first and foremost and secondly respect Bella" I continue.

"I'll respect her if she respects me" Alice mumbles quietly.

"What did you say?" I ask scarcely believing it.

"RESPECT YOU ALICE! ALL SHE HAS BEEN IS RESPECTFUL AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO EVEN ASK FOR HER RESPECT. YOU DUSGUST ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOUR PROBLEM IS BUT YOU NEED TO GROW UP!" I'm screaming at her now. Having lost my temper and patience.

"James please I'm sorry it's just hard seeing you divide your attention with another girl. I hardly see you and I are so sorry" she says and then starts to sob.

Her tears only fuel my anger

"Cut the Bullshit Alice. Go apologize to Bella and take Tanya and get the hell out my house"

She stops crying and looks at me, I look back letting her know I'm serious.

"Jamie" she whispers.

I turn my back and ignore her until she runs out the kitchen sobbing. I follow her out.

~TBW~

Tanya is about to retort when we hear James screaming at Alice. We all jump, I never heard James get pissed at all. He was too sweet but I know Alice really pissed him off.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME ALICE! YOU KNOW THE REASON WHY SHES HERE AND YOU JUST LET HER IN KNOWING THAT I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING ALICE. STOP ACTING INNOCENT!"

"RESPECT YOU ALICE! ALL SHE HAS BEEN IS RESPECTFUL AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO EVEN ASK FOR HER RESPECT. YOU DUSGUST ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOUR PROBLEM IS BUT YOU NEED TO GROW UP!"

I'm standing here in awe as he lets his sister have it. This is a new side to him I never got to witness and to be truthful I like it. I like hearing him defend me and this angriness is hot. God I love This Man.

~TBW~

Alice comes out the kitchen really sobbing now and for a second I feel bad but when I see James face, it goes away and I'm in awe of him again. She goes over to jasper and whispers something in his ear and he goes upstairs and then she turns to me. I ready myself for whatever she throws at me.

She takes a deep breath "Bella" she says sniffling.

"Yes" I answer.

She looks towards James and he nods at her.

"Gosh Bella I'm so sorry for acting like a bitch these past days. I just wasn't used to sharing my brother and I really hope you forgive me" she says in a rush.

I'm taken aback by her apology and I know there's more to it but I'll take it. I can take half of what she throws at me but this apology is not enough.

"Thank you Alice but I don't accept your apology" I tell her.

She gasps and looks at me

"Maybe one day I can accept it" I tell her.

She nods and looks back at jasper that just came back down the stairs.

"I Guess I'll go now" she says.

"I Hope one day we can come back here and start over" jasper says.

I smile and nod at him.

"I would like that" I answer.

"I'm so sorry Jamie I hope you can forgive me one day" Alice says to James. "Come on Tanya you're not welcome here" she tells her.

They all walk towards the door except for Tanya. I raise my eyebrows but she looks towards James.

"James" she pleads in what I guess is supposed to be a sexy voice.

He glares at her "Tanya gets the fuck out of my house and never come back" he answers her.

God those words coming from him are so sexy. I want to jump him right now.

We hear the door close and I look back at him.

"Come here baby I'm tired and I just want to hold you" he beckons to me.

I smile and happily oblige.

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><p><strong>So How Hot Is An Angry James? *Fans self* And Bella Is Kick Ass<strong>

**Next Update Coming Soon Today.**

**Love You Guys**

**Follow me on Twitter for updates and fun- his_singer1**

**.**


	19. Exceptional

**Another for you as promised.**

**I Hope This Lemon Is Good Enough**

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><p>BPOV<p>

I Wake up wrapped in James arms but the most noticeably thing is his hard-on that's pushing into my ass. I push back into it and his hips buck forward automatically and he groans.

"Bella" he says hoarsely.

"Mmm" I say

"You need to stop what you're doing if you're not ready for the consequences" he breathes into my neck.

I push back again "what if I am ready?" I ask.

He untangles from me and sits up. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he looks at me hard.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying" he whispers.

I grab his cock "I Want you" I reply.

His eyes roll back in his head "Bella" he groans.

"But first let me call in and tell rose I'm staying home today" I say releasing him.

"You are seriously killing me" he says dramatically

I giggle and text rose the message.

Bella- Don't come in for work. Taking a day off

Rose- Ok but why?

Bella-I'm fulfilling my man's needs *coy wink*

Rose- SERIOUSLY AND YOUR NEEDS!

Bella- Yes I'm ready

Rose- Fuck Take all the time you need. Weeks even

I laugh and put down the phone.

James crawls over to me "now you were saying" he growls

"I need a shower first" I say jumping out the bed.

I hear a thud as James falls back in the bed "damn you woman hurry"

I Jump in the shower and wash everything a few times. I also shave a little. This will be the first time in who knows how long I had sex but I need this to be perfect. I get out the shower dripping wet and naked and tip toe back to the room. James is lying down on his back fast asleep. I walk in and climb carefully on the bed and slowly takes off his boxers, he opens his eyes and does a double take.

"You're wet" he says

"And naked" I smile

"Dear god" whispers.

I lay back on the bed "Take me" I tell him.

~TBW~

JPOV

I crawl slowly over her body taking in every inch; the freckles on her shoulder, the heart shaped birthmark on her right leg, her full rosy breasts. Kissing up and down her body as she moans in pleasure, usually I would just fuck her but she needs to be loved and cherished.

"You're amazing" I tell her

She grabs ahold of my dick and squeezes, I buck into her hand groaning. Her hand feels so good wrapped around me.

"I want you inside of me now" she demands.

I kiss her lips a few times and slide down the edge of her body; I wrap her legs around me and position myself. We maintain eye contact as I push myself into her wet folds.

Heat and wetness surround me. Its heaven.

"Mm you feel so good" I whisper

"Deeper please" she pleads.

I push all the way into her and watch as her face contorts in pleasure. I get a steady hold of her and grab her hands in mine.

"I Love You" I tell her and begin to move within.

We make love again and again until we're exhausted; it was so much more emotional than physical but a mixture of both. Maybe because I love her it's so much more but I don't know about Bella.

~TBW~

I Am deliciously sore and relaxed, who knew sex could be like that? So many emotions pulsed through me, it scared me. I never had this connection with David and it got me thinking if I did would I have wanted to leave him. I roll over and look at James, his ruffled hair and glistening body and glorious cock. I Love that cock.

"James?" I call

"Yeah"

"That was exceptional and I hope we will be continuing"

He rolls over to my side and kisses me hard "you bet we will"

Later on he makes us a feast of spaghetti and garlic bread, and we drink real fruit juice. We wind the night down by playing cards by the fire and then I ask him to love me all over again.


	20. Beauty Can Be A Curse

**This would have been the end of the story but i'm thinking we have 2-3 chapters left.**

**I Said you would get two chapters a day but i don't think we will get two today but i promise to try and get two out tomorrow.**

**See You At The Bottom**

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><p>My days are spent waking up next to James, going to work, coming home to James and making love. Who knew relationships could be like this, so relaxed no one stalking me. I feel free and confident that James won't let jealousy get in the way. I'm still getting used to him calling me beautiful, David used to call me that but not in an endearing way. It was one of my problems in our relationship, he always use to blame him getting jealous on me being too sexy or too beautiful. He would go even as far to say that I flaunted my beauty, I've come to hate that word. When guys used to compliment me and tell me I was beautiful it made my skin crawl, I have gotten better and learned to shrug it off. It never meant anything to me as far as I was concerned; my beauty was a curse.<p>

"Does it bother you when I call you beautiful?" he asked me.

"Yes... sometimes" I answered.

"Why? It's the Truth" he asked.

"The truth can hurt sometimes" I explain truthfully.

"Why did someone say you weren't beautiful?" he asks. "Because they lied" he tells me softly.

"No it's the opposite actually, it's just that it was an issue before… it doesn't mean anything now" I explain.

"I'm going to be truthful you are beautiful to me but not because of your looks, they are just an added bonus baby"

"Thank you" I reply and kiss him softly.

~TBW~

We go to the beach when the weekend comes and enjoy a nice day in the sand. James is surfing, I'm tanning in the sun but not really since I'm covered up. After what happened I'm not comfortable with showing skin out in the open, just another thing he messed up for me. It's getting better because before I used to live my life in fear of him and when I saw him out of jail looking pathetic and having the nerve to come see me, it all changed. He was just another guy that I didn't like but he needed a warning to stay away.

I look up to see James come out of the water glistening wet, it's just like on TV and everything moves in slow motion and the ladies stare. His body is rocking and I want to lick every inch of his skin, this is normal for me having dirty thoughts about him. Ever since we had sex the first time I just can't get enough.

"Hi sexy" I tease when he gets closer.

He smiles "see something you like?" he flirts back.

"I see everything I like and more" I answer.

He laughs and lies back on the sand looking up and down my body.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask laughing.

"Just remembering the last time I saw you here" he answers casually.

I sit up "and when was this" I wonder.

"When I didn't know you, when I admired you from afar" he replies.

"Oh what was the first thing you thought when you saw me?" I ask.

I should have asked before because I'm sure I know the answer and I won't like it.

"I Thought wow she's beautiful" he replies.

I frown "This changes things" I say.

"Changes what Bella?" he asks seriously.

"I don't want you to like me for my beauty" I answer.

"And you didn't let me finish. I thought you were beautiful but then I saw your eyes and there was a sadness there, a sadness I wanted to erase and the more I saw of you the more I found out and the more I loved but it was never about beauty" he explains.

Why couldn't I have met him sooner?

~TBW~

Alice called one day but James didn't want to talk to her. I guess he was still punishing her.

"Hi Alice" I answered.

"Oh hi Bella is James around?" she asked.

"He's busy at the moment" I lied.

"He doesn't want to talk to me" she sighed.

"No" I answer.

"I guess I deserve it, how are you?"

"I'm fine how you are?"

"Hanging in there. I miss him"

"I'm sure he misses you too just give him time"

"I really hope you can forgive me"

"I'll forgive you when James forgive you"

"Tell him I hope he'll call or text me to let me know he's alright"

"I Will"

"Bye Bella

"Bye Alice"

I wonder can he forgive her because I am willing if he is; I just don't want anymore problems.

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><p><strong>Can he forgive her, will he, should he?<strong>

**What Does Beauty Mean To You?**

**See You Tomorrow At 3pm**


	21. Forgiveness and Love

Week Later

Kate- I wanted you to know that I still love you and that I hope we can try again

I shouldn't have read his texts because now it's all I am thinking about. How easy their relationship looked and how easy it was for her to love him. Of course it's easy for me to love him; I loved him all along but was scared to admit it. Scared for our relationship to change. I had someone love me but to actually love them back and know that their love is true. I should be happy that James love me but its embedded in my mind that at first he fell in love with my looks and after the last relationship I had that was centered around my looks I promised myself I wouldn't do there again. I'm ready to tell him how I feel; I just hope it doesn't change anything. I hope it doesn't get too serious; telling him I love him is serious enough.

Two weeks later

"Welcome home" I greeted James.

"I like the sound of that" he said smiling.

"Oh and before you do anything call your sister" I told him.

He looked at me "what" he said

"It's time to forgive her, I don't care if you text it to her. Just forgive her" I replied.

"Why?" he asked.

I took a deep breath "Because I forgave her and I love you and want you to be happy and she makes you happy" I answered.

He turned around and stopped in his tracks "say it again" he demanded.

"I Love you James and if you forgive your sister I will show you just how much" I said smiling.

He quickly grabs his phone and fires off a quick text and then he swings me over his shoulder and runs up the steps.

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><p><strong>Welcome Back and i know i promised to update but life and school got hetic and then i lost my interest to write the next chapter but hopefully i can give you two chapters and maybe that chapter will be the last before the epilouge who knows.<strong>

**Short chapter but its something eh**


	22. The Beauty Of Love

Day one

Shopping with Alice

Day Two

Shopping and dining with Alice and Rosalie

Day Three

Dining with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and jasper

Day Four

Dining with James

Day Five

Emmett Proposes To Rosalie

Day Six

Going to forks with James and visiting my dad's grave

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><p>Days with James turn into weeks and months and then another year and through it all everything stayed the same. I was more in love with him every day and the way he let me be I, I didn't have to worry about him getting jealous and stalking me. Never had to worry about his temper except for the time he defended me and the one and only time I pissed him off. When I questioned his love and devotion to me, to us and the reason he was in this relationship and the beauty of it was that he forgives me and I realized my mistake. You can't question love or if it's true, love comes in different ways and you will know when it's real.<p>

My love for him is passionate and compassionate and he's my best friend, my partner. We're in this together and that's what should count. Some days I'm going to question and we will argue but it's what we do or say next and how we handle it that counts. I question for answers and I fight for reason. He is the reason that I smile when I wake up he is the reason I'm more comfortable around men. He is the reason I fell in love, he is the reason I can trust that it does exist. He is the reason that what's on the inside matter more to me than what's on the outside.

Laying wrapped up in his warmth after he made love to me is my favorite part of the day, when he keeps the connection even after sex and we talk about any and everything. When I can stare at him and marvel at how lucky I am to have him and how lucky I am that he waited for me. And I tell him these simple words that bring me pleasure just to speak.

"I Love you" I tell him reaching up to touch his face.

"I Love you more" he responds kissing each finger on my hand.

"Not possible" I say smiling.

"Loving you more is possible" he says.

"I love you more than life" I counter.

"I love you more than the heart is capable of loving" he responds

"I love you more than food'" I say giggling.

"Oh really?" he asks laughing.

"Yes I love you even more than I love your eyes and I do love those "I reply.

"I love your eyes too, they're beautiful" he says gazing into them.

"Yes I'm beautiful I hear it all the time" I say squirming under his scrutiny.

He takes my face in his hands "the truth is your beautiful because I love you" he replies kissing me for all the worth.

Those words made me love him even more and then I had to show him how much over and over again.

The Beauty of love is your heart.

The Beauty within your heart is love.

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><p><strong>*Sniffs* The End Is Here<strong>

**But First I Want To Thank You All For Reading This Story and Reviewing. Thanks To Those Who Put me on alerts and who recced this story to other people**

**Special Thanks To Aixa00, October25, Hiddenfangirl,Sghb,JapsersTempess and Anyone that sent me A PM Telling me they love this.**

**Jen- I Flove You So Much, Your Reviews Are Love**

**Thanks and Love To My Beta Gaellelovesmax Who Praises My Writing And Wants To Beta My Words Forever. Merci Beacoup Leila**

***Kisses and Hugs To EveryOne***

**Head On Over To My New Story The Fall If You Would Like To Continue This Writing Journey With Me**

**M.**


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